Not really sure what to say

I guess I’ve been wondering for awhile, what’s my breaking point. I would say the first time I turned my head to the overall situation was Columbine. I was a Marilyn Manson fan at the time. I went to his concert…there were protesters. Not only was it my demographic — I was only a few years removed from high school — I listened to the same music as Harris and Klebold — I was a white male. I got hassled by the police that day. If that were today, with today’s internet and data capabilities, I would be on a list. We do it every millisecond with online advertising targeting tools, why wouldn’t authorities do it. There’s no feelings to a list. Lists don’t know if you’re a good father. Lists don’t know you’re a good friend. Lists don’t know you’re the neighborhood guy that sells CD’s at the local convenience store. It’s pure data. yes this. yes that. no this. no that. if this, then that. And if you were handed a list, and you were told these people were the ones to watch out for that pose the biggest threat, my guess is that you’d be a little on-guard too.

Is it really just a race thing? Or is it truly a sub-culture thing?

In this country, Black & White have the longest history. If you look at them like brands, they’re the biggest rivalry in the category. So when these brands speak, everyone writes about it. Every sub-culture has some form of racism or prejudice that goes with it. The preppys. The hippies. The jocks. The nerds. The fratboys. The rednecks. The wiggers. The smokers. The stoners. The alcoholics. The greasers. The burnouts. The Juggalos. The Mexicans. The Muslims. The Jews. The Asians. The Chaldeans. The Native Americans. The Indians. The Satanists. The bikers. The felons. The pierced. The face-tattooed. The druggies. The religious. The homos. The rich. The poor. The blue collar. The white collar. The pigs. The whites. The blacks. The whatevers. Some have it worse than others. Blacks have it worse than most (if not all). But everyone in a sub-culture deals with it in some form.

Maybe it’s just a look. Or a comment. Or a girl whose father doesn’t want her to talk to you anymore. Or being bullied. Or getting jumped. Or being told you don’t belong. Or getting harassed by police. Or getting shot.

I’ve never been shot. But I’ve received that look. I’ve heard that comment. I’ve been bullied. I’ve been jumped. I’ve been told I didn’t belong. I’ve been harassed by police. And I’ve had a gun held to my head by a young black male.

On the other hand…I’ve given that look. I’ve made that comment. I’ve bullied. I’ve given police a reason to harass me. Why? For a laugh? To be cool? Cause I didn’t realize it was wrong at the time? Who knows.

The first gay person I met, I bullied. I didn’t really know if he was gay or not, but I (we) suspected. I was raised Catholic. Gay was evil. Gay was un-manly. Gay was a choice. Gay was gay. I was told “you better not be gay.” I don’t think any of us really knew how we were supposed to act around homosexuals. So we lashed out. Fast forward a few years and I started working with a guy that didn’t fit a single gay stereotype. We were friends. He told me he was gay. I realized I didn’t care. I wasn’t surrounded by the same people I was with a few years earlier. I wasn’t surrounded by people who didn’t know how to handle it. I was surrounded by people who all knew and didn’t give a shit. I’ve gone on to meet a bunch of gay people in my life, men and women, and the only ones I don’t like, are the ones that are assholes. Not because they’re gay.

I can care less if you’re gay, black, face-tattooed and ride a Harley. I care about your values and your beliefs. Would I trust you? Would I trust my kids around you? Would I trust my kids with you? Are you the type of person who brings value to my life? Would I bring value to your life? Am I a better person by knowing you? Are you a better person by knowing me?

If you believe that gay is a choice, then I can see how you wouldn’t want your kids being around them. If you believe that all blacks are lazy then I can see why you wouldn’t want to hire a black person. If you believe that all Muslims are terrorists, then I can see why you wouldn’t want them in our country. But that’s an education flaw.

People might go to similar schools, and teachers might use similar lesson plans, but everyone is raised in a different household. And every parent, or foster parent, or guardian is raised with a different set of beliefs. And when those beliefs are transferred to their children, there’s no one standing there to call bullshit. In all my or my children’s years of schooling, I don’t ever recall a cultural gut-check class. One meant to press the reset button on the stereotypes. Has anyone ever known of an elementary or middle school class that teaches people that gays are not evil, and blacks are not criminals, and so on? I don’t think so. Because we’re not all aligned on those beliefs. People don’t know what to think. People don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. People don’t have a solution to the problem. People are afraid. And when people are afraid, bad things happen. Cops are afraid. Blacks are afraid. Whites are afraid. The entire country is afraid. And the American way to combat fear is to act tough. To quote the Cobra-Kai “Strike First. Strike Hard. No Mercy.”

People in this country are afraid of what they are not. Are afraid of people that are raised with different beliefs and values. My 4 yr. old son paints his nails and carries a purse. Is he gay? I don’t think so. Do I care? No. But other people do. Just a couple weeks ago, a 60+ year old woman told my son that boys don’t wear nail polish. He came running back to us crying. Who the hell is she to tell him what he can and can’t do? If he wants to paint his nails, and he likes how that looks, and he wants to get creative with his fingers, more power to him. But it’s comments like that, that create fear. And as Yoda once said, “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” She probably thinks it might make him turn gay. But seriously, unless it puts him, or someone around him, in harms way, who really cares.

If we could all just cut back on those comments. If we could all just call bullshit on the things we may have been taught growing up that we now realize have no substance. If we could all just stop and think before we react. If we could all just stop laughing at jokes that aren’t funny. Maybe we can start to reverse the trend. Because things are moving pretty fast right now, and it’s not in a good direction. There’s nothing funny about 300 years of suffering, and there’s nothing funny about what’s gone on the last 3 years. #BlackLivesMatter #BlueLivesMatter