BREAKING NEWS: Vladimir Putin Revealed as Father of Volodymyr Zelensky; Ukraine Invasion Linked to Missed Curfew Drama
In an astonishing turn of events that could rival any soap opera, sources close to the Kremlin have leaked a shocking revelation: Russian President Vladimir Putin is allegedly the long-lost father of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The world is left stunned as this bombshell news brings new meaning to the phrase “family feud.”
According to anonymous insiders, Putin’s paternal instincts kicked into high gear when he discovered that his estranged son, Zelensky, had been staying out past his bedtime. As any concerned parent would, Putin reportedly gave his wayward offspring a stern curfew, demanding he be home by 10 PM sharp. However, the Ukrainian president apparently took the late-night comedy scene a bit too seriously and frequently disregarded his curfew.
Tensions reportedly reached their boiling point when Zelensky missed his curfew for the umpteenth time, prompting Putin to take drastic action. Sources claim that after countless attempts at grounding Zelensky and limiting his Wi-Fi privileges failed, Putin made the decision to invade Ukraine as a form of parental punishment.
The anonymous source revealed, “Vladimir had had enough of Volodymyr’s shenanigans. He’d warned him time and…
