Let’s talk about Alex Hormozi and the difference between generosity and manipulation

I almost didn’t speak up because I really really don’t want to add to this dude’s mythology.

I almost didn’t because I also know that many people reading this will clap back with, “People who can’t do what he does LOVE to critique from their pile of nothing.”

I almost didn’t because I’m exhausted by all the perpetual outrage.

But this is my life’s work. I have spent fifteen years teaching real people — one by one — how to create actual win-wins. My business is stable and thriving and I have a track record of thousands who have successfully created sustainable livelihoods based on a slower, more sustainable model for commerce based on actual generosity, integrity, and the heart-felt (and proven) belief that you do not have prey upon others to sell, market, or be very very successful.

This is not outrage, this is dissent. And in the absence of it — we all end uo drinking the Koolaid.

And I’m really sorry in advance. A lot of lovely people who I deeply respect might be insulted by this. But I’m going in anyway.

I ask that you try to think critically about how all of this makes you feel before you defend. I thought hard about this. I’m asking you to look as this from more angles. Nothing more.

For those that don’t know, Alex Hormozi is a really skilled marketer. A couple of days ago, he launched his second book to much fanfare with a webinar and a ton of slick leadup. A few hundred-thousand people came because again, he’s really good at audience-building and has a few million followers. And then, instead of the big $ pitch, he gave it all away. People cried. Attendees were behaving like Oprah just gave them a car (and not a relatively rudimentary marketing book/training).

Two things that make him stand out as being different from the rest of the pack:

1. He seems to have actually built real businesses.

2. He’s using generosity (like a warm fuzzy blanket wrapped around all the greed) to built trust.

He’s a stellar marketer. No doubt. And there is plenty of hyper-masculine bullshit I could point at as legit reasons to be a contrarian on this one. But as far as I can see, it’s actually his “generosity” that makes him WAY more dangerous. He’s leveraging generosity as a tactic that engenders SO MUCH trust. And trust is the most frighteningly powerful component to any marketing scheme. In truly magnanimous hands, it can be a beautiful thing. In greedy ones, it can do profound harm.

For clarity and context, I watched the first four free videos in his free leads training. I have not consumed his entire catalog. At first, I found his authenticity pretty compelling and well-intentioned.

Where he started to lose me was when he mentioned that he is not giving all this away because he’s just a nice guy. He’s giving it away because doing so helps him make more money and then ‘everybody wins’.

Pro tip: When someone explicitly tells you their intentions, listen.

And dude, that is not actually, “everybody winning.”

Everybody winning would be when no one is losing.

See, he has successfully distanced himself from the moment where people fork over their money, so he’s not actually seeing people losing as a result of what he teaches. Because the rest of tactics he’s teaching are not win-win. Far from it.

He’s using all that deeply powerful trust and success to teach people to think that it is 100% a-ok to never ever take no for an answer. The third (fourth, maybe?) video teaches the viewer that the ONLY way to get your first few clients is to message literally everyone you know over and over again. He casually teaches you how to entice them into conversation by asking them about their life and their interests. He helpfully points out that there is aaaaalways something you can work with. If it’s a busy mom, and you teach nutrition, ask if she has someone helping her with meal prep, etc… He goes on to lay out step-by-step instructions for leading a conversation to exactly where you want it to go: a transaction. He explains how you’re doing them a service because people love talking about themselves.

He’s making it ok — worse than that, he’s teaching you how — to manipulate your friends and family into becoming your personal ATM.

He’s teaching you how to engender trust.

He’s teaching you how to do what he’s doing to you.

And in the process, he’s teaching you that that is 100% the right and good and ‘kind’ thing to do.

That is the dangerous part of bro marketing — it completely and totally bypasses consent by teaching you that is isn’t needed (OR EVEN WANTED).

I don’t know about you, but consent is something I’m pretty attached to.

I like saying no.

And I think offering that opportunity is the responsibility of being a decent human sharing space on this goddamn planet with other humans.

But when you validate bypassing consent and then wrap it in messages of ethics, kindness, authenticity, and generosity?

It’s basically unstoppable.

Because now we can all feel really good about giving up personal agency and making sure our clients give up theirs.

When someone trusts your ideas, they stay interested.

When someone trusts your work, they buy from you.

When someone trusts YOU, they will do anything you tell them to do.

So now hundreds of thousands (maybe millions) of people think consent is overrated and you can’t be generous until you make millions first.

It’s like a magic trick. While you’re busy sitting in rapt attention being gobsmacked at all the smoke and mirrors and charisma, you have unwittingly become a human marketing mouthpiece for just another dude with his hand down your pants…

…oops, I meant in your pocket.