I don’t claim to know you other than what you have revealed in your writing. Even with those clues, I don’t know your circumstances and I’m sure some of what I perceive about you is false. So, this is my opinion with a lot of my own stuff thrown in.

I can only guess that your friends have your best interests at heart, but I don’t know why they would suggest writing anonymously. A potential paramour will, I hope, quickly come to know you better than any writing will reveal, though perhaps not as idealistically. A potential employer will also come to know you if they put in any effort. And if they don’t put in the effort, they likely won’t be searching your writing here.

I’ve hired a number of people in my life. The ones that I sense are hiding something from me come across as untrustworthy. I know people have outside lives, and unless you can’t accomplish the task I have, I want you to bring the diversity of knowledge and experience you have. You likely have as good or better way to solve my problem than if I tell you how to do the job. I’m hiring the whole person.

I don’t think you can hide who you are from your employer or lover (or friends or neighbors or…) without an awful lot of unfulfilling effort. Why live that life?

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