If you told someone that a man had learned jiu jitsu after being attacked, I think the vibe would be “well, that’s pretty reasonable.” If a bisexual woman decided to date only women after being raped, the vibe would be “oh, she’s broken.”
What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped
Emma Lindsay
2.9K198

Well, this does not hold for me. If a man start to live in fear of being attacked again and act according to avoid the possibility of repeating that experience I would say it’s “broken” (then I really dislike this term related to people, but I can’t find any better at the moment, I’m taking it just as the best word to understand each other ☺ ). I.E. avoid going some street at night, looking often at his back, avoiding people… The same I would not say a girl is “broken” if she started carrying spray pepper after being raped. I think the whole matter boils down to trust. If you lose trust in a gender (or in people, in general) then you are “crippled”; if you try to be prepared in the case that situation happens again then you are… …well, doing good, or at least trying to. I can add, a bit provocatively, deciding not to date all cis male for a bad (really bad: probably the worst that can happen to a person in a lifetime) experience that happened with one of them sounds like sexist to me (the thing changes if it was not a decision but a feeling, like “after what happened I don’t feel like dating cis male again, and as far as I can do without it it’s OK”. This thing would open many more parentheses, but I think this comment is already too long ☺)

Disclosure: I’ve been object to violence (being hit, robbed and left unconscious on a street, which is still very different from a rape) and my opinion are born by a lot of thinking about this experience: this sentence clearly hit a vulnerable spot; I still have to finish reading the article; I strongly dislike generalisation ;)

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