My life and times as a New York City mover — I have been a mover for 10 years, give or take. When I arrived in New York in July 2008, I watched the Euro Cup finals with my father and girlfriend at a bistro in Carroll Gardens. At six a.m. the next morning, I wandered through Williamsburg looking for a…

We could attempt to slow the devastating effects of climate change through national sacrifice, but we won’t — I think about packaging a lot, like the stuff everything comes in. The excess of our excess. Especially around this time of year, as we create yet another small Pacific trash island of the dispensed, deconstructed, and discarded just to enjoy our briefly-wrapped boxes containing things we don’t need. I…

I know as a comedian, I’m supposed to apologize for when I do something sincere, or even worse, serious. But I’m not sorry, cause this is serious. I’m writing this half for myself, and half cause I think we all need some kind of encouragement, pep talk, game plan, etc…

My name is Andy Haynes. I’m a comedian, very occasional actor, and former mover/camp-counselor/barista/receptionist. Now, I make most of my money writing funny things for television. I’ve never written for a hit show, and I’ve never sold anything. In many ways, I’m a bad writer, and in most ways up…