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Andy Haynes
Andy Haynes

854 Followers

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Published in

Human Parts

·May 28, 2019

On Taking, and Not Taking, the Pills That Keep Me Alive

I was going to write about going off antidepressants. That didn’t happen. — I had a whole plan. I was going to write this piece on a road trip from San Francisco to L.A. while withdrawing from antidepressants. In my poorly functioning mind, riddled with anxiety, racing thoughts, and near-hallucinations, I thought I had the perfect idea for an essay. It would start: …

Mental Health

9 min read

On Taking, and Not Taking, the Pills That Keep Me Alive
On Taking, and Not Taking, the Pills That Keep Me Alive
Mental Health

9 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Mar 9, 2019

We Carry Your Life in Our Hands

My life and times as a New York City mover — I have been a mover for 10 years, give or take. When I arrived in New York in July 2008, I watched the Euro Cup finals with my father and girlfriend at a bistro in Carroll Gardens. At six a.m. the next morning, I wandered through Williamsburg looking for a…

New York

10 min read

We Carry Your Life in Our Hands
We Carry Your Life in Our Hands
New York

10 min read


Dec 22, 2018

One Nation, Wrapped in Plastic

We could attempt to slow the devastating effects of climate change through national sacrifice, but we won’t — I think about packaging a lot, like the stuff everything comes in. The excess of our excess. Especially around this time of year, as we create yet another small Pacific trash island of the dispensed, deconstructed, and discarded just to enjoy our briefly-wrapped boxes containing things we don’t need. I…

Environment

7 min read

One Nation, Wrapped in Plastic
One Nation, Wrapped in Plastic
Environment

7 min read


Nov 14, 2016

This isn’t funny…

I know as a comedian, I’m supposed to apologize for when I do something sincere, or even worse, serious. But I’m not sorry, cause this is serious. I’m writing this half for myself, and half cause I think we all need some kind of encouragement, pep talk, game plan, etc…

2016 Election

14 min read

This isn’t funny…
This isn’t funny…
2016 Election

14 min read


Published in

Movie Time Guru

·Apr 16, 2016

We Should Talk…

My name is Andy Haynes. I’m a comedian, very occasional actor, and former mover/camp-counselor/barista/receptionist. Now, I make most of my money writing funny things for television. I’ve never written for a hit show, and I’ve never sold anything. In many ways, I’m a bad writer, and in most ways up…

Work

6 min read

We Should Talk…
We Should Talk…
Work

6 min read

Andy Haynes

Andy Haynes

854 Followers

I’ve been arrested seven times.

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