Hrt, weight, racialized beauty standards…
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.If hrt were instantaneous and also instantaneously reversible I’ve no doubt I’d go for the thing.
But having to go to a doctor and having an in between stage and the possibility of dissatisfaction with side effects make it all a

:-\.
I guess it’s also like I don’t know what I’d be targeting. Like I have a map that shows two large land masses but my destination is a tiny island somewhere that is too small to be included and may not even exist. I may be able to find a close enough island or may need to turn around and fly back after scouting to no avail.
I guess my point here is to commit to words that hrt is a real possibility for my future and it not really working is a real possible consequence.
Then I can spend less time day dreaming about if shapeshifting were possible and maybe dedicate some thought to what is possible and if I want any of that.
It’s also entirely possible I may be able to find a happy place to land at without doing any of that.
As much as trying to be a dude and masculinity has been a foreign thing to me most of my life I’ve never really had issues with my body until I lost my last job and gained a bunch of weight.
How much of that though is falling into the idea of skinny white and masc of center as the idea of androgyny?
I don’t know and that’s okay, but I’m committing the questions to record.
This has been sitting in my drafts for awhile, long enough that I forgot about it. Last night and also a week or so ago I was talking with my wife about the possibility of doing HRT along with options for therapy and what not.
Maybe I should go back and edit the above post but I don’t really feel like it so leaving it as originally written.
Thank you for your support.
