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Life Tips

Life is like a piece of artwork. You have to take a step back every now and again to see if it’s coming out the way you want. Sometimes you need to walk away for a while, to return and view it with fresh eyes. When you’re too far into it, you can’t see it for what it is.

Don’t be so enamored of that new car smell that you make yourself a pauper just to be seen in a hot, new car. The same goes for electronics, houses and women.

Please know:

You have a responsibility to yourself and every right to walk away from:

• A career path that doesn’t fit.

• A job that you hate.

• A relationship that no longer works.

• An educational path that did not turn out to be what you want.

Be true to yourself.

You cannot spend your entire life wearing uncomfortable shoes or too-tight pants.

You need to be who YOU want to be — not who everyone else thinks you should be. Be true to yourself.

If you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up yet, that’s ok. Just listen to your heart and head when they tell you who you DON’T want to be. The answer will eventually reveal itself to you.

Your brain, heart and character are all muscles — exercise them often and feed them well.

You can be comfortable in a relationship that has turned toxic. Sometimes even a relationship that started as healthy and supportive, even as friends, can deteriorate over time. It erodes so slowly that you may not see the warning signs.

If something feels uncomfortable or too good to be true, stop.

You may love someone with all your heart, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that you’re comfortable sharing their toothbrush.

No, you can’t catch an STD from a toilet seat. That being said, if it’s so gross you can’t bear to sit down, don’t.

The toilet paper dispenser WAS actually designed for the paper to roll over the TOP, not come out from the bottom. Look up the patent!

If your pet is chewing on an old pair of pantyhose, throw the hose in the garbage outside before you go to work!

If something feels uncomfortable or too good to be true, stop.

If you have even the slightest doubt, don’t do it.

Forever is a long time and even if forever is cut short, that connection will always be there, especially if it’s in the form of children. Choose wisely.

Don’t ever:

• Settle.

• Enter a relationship thinking you can change them or make them better.

• Drink a coke while standing on your head. Or any other liquid, for that matter.

• Assume that guy is actually turning right if you need to cross in front of him. He probably forgot his signal was on.

• Turn to answer someone while in the restroom.

• Drink hot coffee without testing it first.

• Trust a free drink from someone you don’t know.

• Eat meat that smells sweet or bread that has fur.

Facts:

Knowledge is recognizing a one-way street. Wisdom is looking both ways anyway.

It actually IS possible to have too much of a good thing.

1 minute at 3 am is long enough to get up, tinkle, wash your hands and get back to bed. 1 minute at 3 pm won’t even get you to the bathroom.

You can survive on one sandwich and a bottle of water until dinner.

It’s better to eat breakfast and skip lunch than vice-versa.

Try not to eat after 8pm. Your digestion will thank you.

Try to go to bed by midnight or before. Your mind and body will both be sharper.

If you get the feeling that car is about to cut you off, slow down because you’re probably right.

Money

That man in an undershirt and coveralls could be the most well-off neighbor you have. Chances are the guy with the Corvette is not.

Save at least as much as you spend and you’ll never want.

Use credit only for what you can pay off in three months’ time. If you must use credit for groceries, only get the bare essentials — do not do a full $200 grocery trip on it.

If you can’t come up with 5 good reasons to buy something, don’t.

It’s ok to buy a house for a little more than you’re comfortable with — just don’t get TOO uncomfortable. Annual 3% raises and continuous employment are no longer guaranteed.

If you can’t come up with 5 good reasons to buy something, don’t.

Food

If the recipe calls for 20 minutes, check it in 10.

Most times you can tell when something’s done cooking by the smell. And the smoke detector is not a “done” indicator.

If in doubt, throw it out.

Eggs, milk and deli you can use past the marked expiration date, just smell it first.

Margarine works just as well to cook eggs as real butter. And vise-versa.

You actually CAN cut the mold off the outside of cheese and eat the inside. Just proceed carefully.

If you are truly lactose intolerant, popcorn and dark lettuce are excellent substitutions for the Calcium your body needs. A cup of popcorn has more than a cup of whole milk and much less fat.

Toaster ovens ALWAYS cook hotter and faster at the same temperature setting.

Using Pam spray or cupcake wrappers under your muffins will save you a ton of heartache.

No, you do not have to separate the dry and wet ingredients in a recipe. Chefs dump it all in one bowl.

Cleaning

That line in the toilet is not a water level indicator. Clean it.

You can clean a toilet bowl with a rag and comet and your bare hands. You won’t die. Just wash your hands well with lots of soap and hot water when you’re done.

Just because all you do is brush your teeth and wash your hands in it does not mean your sink is inherently clean. Clean it once a week anyway.

Bleach is good for your toilet but bad for your jeans.

Clean your tub and toilet once a week. Regardless.

Don’t use Ammonia Windex on granite, but DO use it on the toilet.

Bleach is good for your toilet but bad for your jeans.

Most clothes today are color-fast; however, do not wash a red t-shirt with white socks or they’ll come out pink every time.

If your red t-shirt turns your jeans pink, don’t toss them. It will wash out. It might take 3–4 washes, but you’ll get there.

Even the washer needs to be cleaned now and then. Same for the dishwasher.

The sink is another kitchen tool that also must be cleaned. THEN you’re done.

Wash dark with dark and light with light dress clothes on cold perm press. Underwear of all colors always wash on HOT.

Towels should be washed by themselves (on HOT), as should jeans (on COLD). They are all thicker and will shrink any lighter-weight clothing you try to dry with them.

The coffee maker must be cleaned at least once a week. Inside AND the pot.

No matter how clean the floor looks, it will always look better after vacuuming.

Remember, the toilet is the most popular seat in the house.

Dusting the furniture will not kill you. The buildup of dust mite. (Get it?)

No matter how clean the floor looks, it will always look better after vacuuming.

Misc.

Over time, you can tell it’s been 20 minutes.

Deer are the cheerleaders of the animal world. They may be beautiful, but they’ll still run out in front of your car.

Always remember, no matter how nice your car is or how far away you park, someone will always find a way to gift you with a shopping cart ding.

A deserted store will fill up as soon as you step inside.

If going somewhere gives you the heebie jeebies, there’s a reason. Wait a while or go somewhere else.

NEVER pull anything out from under a running lawnmower. Same goes for the garbage disposal.

If you have part of your check auto-deposited into savings, you will manage to save something.

You’ll always get better vegetables and fruit from a farmer’s market than a chain supermarket.

A fool and his money are soon parted — that saying is still around for a reason.

That kind-faced salesman does not necessarily have YOUR best interests at heart.

A fool and his money are soon parted — that saying is still around for a reason.

NEVER drink and drive. You are ALWAYS more think than you drunk you are.

If in a compromised situation you can always call us. We’ll come get you, no questions asked. That said, we will have questions the next day.

Brown eggs do not only come from brown chickens. Chocolate milk does not come from brown cows, either.

The only good manure to put on outdoor plants is hog or cow. Horses do not fully digest what they eat and dog and cat will also kill your plants.

Mulch will always become dirt.

NEVER drink and drive. You are ALWAYS more think than you drunk you are.

Most things are good in moderation. The tricky thing is everyone has a different definition of “moderation.”

It is better to hang back and live, than to insist on being first and die.

He who runs away lives to fight another day.

Learn to swim in the shallow end before trying to impress anyone jumping into the deep one. Toddlers don’t judge.

Yes, people do pee in the public swimming pool.

Yellow does NOT mean put the pedal to the floor.

Yield means EVERYONE!

There is a way around pretty much everything, you just have to find it.

There’s a reason nobody starts at the top.

You can understand what your baby or pet is trying to tell you, you just have to listen with different ears.

There’s a reason nobody starts at the top.

Everyone you know has something of value to teach you, if only patience.

The grass is not always greener on the other side, but if it is, you can bet the water bill is a lot higher.

When we get holes in our socks, we all tuck it between our toes and move on.

Shavers are shavers, but Epilady’s are torture devices.

If you think women are wimps, eat a bad burrito every 28 days and tell us how you feel after 3 days of nonstop cramps.

Men are typically stronger & larger, but it’s still ok to cry when you smash your toe under the couch.

A kidney stone is the closest experience a man can have to childbirth in terms of pain. Another way that was suggested by Joan Rivers was to grasp your lower lip firmly between two fingers — and then pull it over your head.

Men are typically stronger & larger, but it’s still ok to cry when you smash your toe under the couch.

We all come in different shapes, sizes and colors, but we all bleed red. Also bear in mind that trash comes in all colors, too.

If your hair is long enough to blow in your eyes while you’re driving — close the window and turn on the A/C.

If you can earn a cat’s love, they will set aside their disdain.

A dog will love you regardless of … well, anything.

Common sense is wisdom wearing its work clothes.

Bear in mind that your pet has trained you more than you’ve trained him/her.

People who are habitual drug users are not big on common sense.

Common sense is wisdom wearing its work clothes.

Do not trust that you can hold your breath long enough to open the car door or kick out the windshield.

Many people need that sheepskin to cover their intellectual nakedness.

Remember how you handle the bad times — your kids will.

Your children learn more from watching you than they ever will from what you sit them down and explain to them.

Remember how you handle the bad times — your kids will.

You’re only as old or as short as you feel.

Never let them see you sweat — unless you’re working in the yard.

Do not rock back in that chair!

Of course your keys were in the last place you looked — why would you continue?

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