UNFORTUNATELY I’M NOT ALONE…
Was contemplating on writing a blog about my feelings on a taboo topic that nobody really talks about… which is stalking, bullying… you name it. I’ve seen a plethora of inspirational quotes about bullying but yet rather than talking about it…. It’s time to do something about it!
I usually pay attention to topics and posts people put on social media platforms and it’s not rocket science to know the posts people write about or tag has to do with what they’re going through or it can be because they see a problem in that area but usually it’s what they are going through…
People that inspire and use the word “bully” a lot to me means they are the bullies in disguise and don’t even know it. But, let’s digress in that area shall we? I am here to blog about the importance of speaking up and not falling into a victim such as I did in social media. It’s a silence epidemic that nobody really talks about or are ashamed. I am not ashamed! Actually I am proud of writing about it! :)
There is a worldwide of people that fall into these categories. We’ve seen from politics, to businesses, to competition, to trying to bring down a person or company. We see it all the time yet nobody really talks about it or if it is talked about it’s because a famous reporter, celebrity of sorts was attacked unjustly.
I can attest you…YOU don’t need to be a huge celebrity to fall into victim mode. It can happen to anyone! Anyone…..! Gosh even your pet for crying out loud! Someone might not like your cat, dog, bird and it gets spread on social media like wildfire. Social media is quite interesting… As it gets noisier and as we live in a distracted kind of world more of this will be prominent.
Read an article how a major company was shut down due to low volume sales due to internet users spreading gossip of their products and people actually believing it. When they noticed not many products were selling they found the culprit was blogs that were untrue, posts that discredit the product and so forth… Read the article on twitter and couldn’t believe this! This is how POWERFUL Social Media is!
I also wrote a blog on Tom’s Shoes which was controversial. I called it the Huarache Controversial Blog! Main reason I wrote it was because whether TOMS was aware or not rumors were spreading on social media sites about not contributing to Mexico. I shut down that rumor as they have been giving since 2013. (Buy one pair of shoe, other is free to the less fortunate)
Pros of writing that blog? TOMS became my friend :) (Not MySpace Tom Ok?) :)
Business is Business and it’s just an eye opener on safe guarding it!
A couple of months ago I had read an article written up on a YGEN (Young Generation) Enterpreneur who ran a network marketing company successfully marketing non-toxic household products something similar to the honest company by Jessica Alba… It was a sad case that got me really upset because she was being bullied by envious people (majority young females) about her products and her family which made her take action and sell her company.
I asked myself…. Is this for reals? Does this really happen? What could of she done differently besides getting coaching?
She already had Great Powerful Women behind coaching her in her teams however she decided to pull the plug and give up on her thriving business. She had the opportunity to speak at TED TALKS as one of the young Enterpreneurs in our generation (how’s that for getting jelly?)& based on branding and marketing I can tell she was under the trigger “Prestige” They get hit with envy from others. I shared it on facebook to bring awareness of what can happen without even realizing… I was going through the same thing but not as visible as hers. It took a while for me to bring awareness in the network marketing industry or at least the Leaders that knew of me and a potential stalker about my situation. After failed attempts to block this person it was a fail! Apparently fake pages which are called (phishing) can be created and can continue following you. Yes, I could of put all my accounts to private setting but what good was that while running a business? Fail!
After talking to several people (family, friends, associations) was asked to just ignore the person and also to not follow him either. Fail! If I don’t know what he is up to I would never really be aware of his intentions. Too many coincidences that were not adding up! We can’t just ignore these type of people. Obsessed people! We need to be aware! To be awaken! Wish ignoring predators like these were easy. They are not.
Pay attention to their language.
If they speak of help, heal, cure, depression, bullying, sadness… they are truly seeking attention and help.
Being that we are in #MentalMonthAwareness in May notice the signs it can be as little as listening to what they are talking about…
Some may say your exaggerating or creating drama. What drama?! I didn’t ask to be stalked. Never flirted, gave reason for a male to be obsessed with me as a matter of fact it’s never happened or ever had met this individual! All I know he is friends of my friends and how easily it can be for others to follow you when you comment on your friends profiles. This is the first time anything like this has happened to me and it’s been a doozy! So I can relate now with the young female that shut down her business for the sake of peace of mind only difference she made lots of money and I didn’t. I lost a bunch of money however it’s okay!
As Billy Graham quotes:
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost.
When health is lost, something is lost
When character is lost, ALL is lost.
When money is lost, it can be made again. Ask any Successful Leader, Politician, Powerful person in authority and they will confidently guarantee you they will rebuild again and make more money which some may never understand how? There is no secret to it they just know how to successfully run businesses.
Another case I seen was the female reporter Megyn Kelly that was bullied by Donald Trump a very political argument some might add! For those of us who study branding and marketing whether your in Hollywood, Politics, TV it’s all about ratings and attention what’s so different with social media? None. As a matter of fact there is a greater influence in social media rather than television. Triple times more!
Was it justly to put her name to shame or bully her? Of course not however as a written article I had read on her they titled her interview. “The beautiful Strength” and enjoyed reading how she was raised and her education and what made her who she is now. A tough tough female and words of advice to any females that are being bullied.
What made Megyn Kelly’s story inspirational after all the drama rama was that Donald Trump apologized after taking a rational point of view decision. It was Amazing! Hope they can shake hands now or not?!
Interestingly enough I read an article yesterday in ELLE Magazine that talked about how to be POWERFUL! Yes you can! One of the secrets revealed was that men trust women who are strong. If you are weak, nice, naïve they will not trust you to do the job. Brings me to Hilary Clinton a pretty tough political candidate running and Powerful as well!
So how did I cope with all this and handle a business from home? Well… not only is it difficult at the beginning to start a business as your attempting to acquire leads, network, build relationships, market your products, brand yourself, start a blog, put yourself out there but to deal with worrying who is following you and not for a positive outcome but to hold you back and covet what you doing… is not healthy. My situation has been going on since 3 years ago. Yes 3 YEARS!!! Prior to starting my skin care business which I am not longer part of. How can someone stalk you for that long and not have much to show for as a Leader? Distractions, Illussions And Pie In The Sky!
Know that when someone rejects you, it’s a re-direction! Low self-esteem tells you… you are not worthy to find a love like this person and you remain stuck. And NO! attacking others because they get close to me is not going to help it at all! So how long is too long? Time is precious and should not be wasted. My pet peeve is wasted time and it makes my blood boil to think someone did this for that long and I couldn’t SUCCEED in Business.
At first I thought it was funny it seemed fun innocence following someone and trying to communicate. Seen nothing wrong with it however I started to see patterns that were not fun anymore! They just were not normal! As I had studied psychology with the brain through Harvard Studies I began to piece things together and realized this has gotten out of control. I can understand 2 weeks or 3 months but 3 years of following and waiting for something to happen is love sickness!
I already knew something was not right and as I am studying branding and marketing through the Author: Sally Hogshead in the book FASCINATE she talks about Passionate people attracting people who are fascinated by you! Example Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol she didn’t have to pretend to be sexy there was something about her that attracted men to her. Not saying I’m Marilyn Monroe ok? But you get it…
So, I placed my social media account on private for these main reasons. And I ask must I do this and what is it doing to my business? Lots of DAMAGE!
I’m not one to hide things I am very open as a book and honest and to hide accounts it’s just a sign I’m hiding information which I wasn’t. Realized even if I have him blocked he will find a way to continue following me. This was really upsetting for me and super stressful!
Throughout this whole ordeal I even had dreams (nightmares) or insight of my awareness coming to play. Whether it’s from God, Angels or my past loved ones who are in heaven. Some which are too personal for me to share but awakened me to reality and proved how strong I was through all of this.
I’m not one to quit but in taking time off. Nobody will really understand the reason for this but I do. It took a toll on my health and it’s something I have to deal with thank God nothing major. Health is so important and taking care of it.
Now I lead a balanced life. Feeling more care-free, forgiving, releasing, letting go of any resentments and know everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for all of this happening. Perhaps so I can talk about it as many are hiding behind a veil and not speaking up. I can guarantee you many will experience more of stalking, bullying on social media as technology grows and it’s our jobs to teach how not to fall into this trap!
So…should you experience the pie in the sky syndrome and you’re the one stalking what can you do…
First, surround yourself with mentors, coaches that hold you accountable for your actions
Second, workout at the gym, go out in nature, pray, meditate, eat healthy (less sugar)
Third, be Greatful with what God has blessed you with and stop comparing yourself to others.
Forth, Put yourself in other people’s shoes and stop making it about yourself. Do think of the other person and realize what may not seem like a big deal to YOU… it’s a major deal to them. If they say STOP it means STOP IT!
If You are the victim in this situation what can you do?
First, surround yourself with family, friends, associations who understand you and not judge you
Second, workout at the gym, nature, hike, eat healthy, shopping, make connections
Third, Pray to a higher source (God is who I pray to) and cleanse yourself with sea salt baths (amazing!) Gotta love pampering baths
Forth, take mini vacays, volunteer, have faith that it will get better, read the bible devotionals or self help books.
It’s definitely a different lifestyle but it works wonders. Know that after the rain, comes the rainbow and be patient and know when to act! Speak up, talk to family members who you can trust or coaches who have your best interest in mind not just your money $$$
And if none of that works…. Slay it! (with the word) watch it RUN!
Cheers to Freedom!
Laura Ramos XOXO