Have you come across this quote?
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Years ago, I had come across this quote in a magazine called Wisdom.
There is a lot of hidden wisdom in this quote right? We will break them down one by one in a bit and figure it out.
But what is important is this quote is part of the prayer called Serenity Prayer.
The origins of the Serenity prayer is unknown. However it is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr. He was a 20th century American theologian. And some of his works include “Moral Man and Immoral Society”, “The Nature and Destiny of Man” , and “The Irony of American History etc. He wrote about ethics, social justice and political ideology.
The complete serenity prayer is as follows.
Complete Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen
The first three lines of serenity prayer which is a shortened form of the Serenity prayer is often used in recovery and self-help programs, especially Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-step programs. As a counsellor I had heard these lines in the AA recovery program.
What is the meaning of God Grant Me the Serenity prayer?
This prayer has three components to it.
1.God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
In life there are many things that you cannot control. So what are the things beyond your control? Here are five things that you cannot control.
Death:
Death is an inevitable part of life. We cannot change this fact. But there is no need to fear death. As Dalai Lama puts it
Analysis of death is not for the sake of becoming fearful but to appreciate this precious lifetime.”
We can remember death and the preciousness of life. But we cannot control when we die.
Ageing:
Similarly age is something that you cannot control either. It is a part of life. We grow and add on years as time passes. And we have no control on this. Our beauty and youth fade. Strength and virility decreases. Knowing this truth, the best thing is not to fight it. But to accept it gracefully.
The Past:
You cannot change or undo events that have already occurred. The past is fixed, and while you can learn from it, you cannot alter it. So good or bad make your peace with the past. Learn from it but move on to the present.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha
Other people:
The only person you can control is you. Other people’s opinions, their words and actions cannot be controlled. You cannot control what other people think or believe. Everyone has their own perspectives and opinions. You also cannot control the choices and actions of other people. People have their own free will and may make decisions that affect you, whether positively or negatively.
Similarly natural disasters like earthquakes, cyclones, landslides are beyond human control. And as humans we have no say in this unless it is man made.
Meaning of prayer God Grant Me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change:
So the ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ‘says that for the things that you cannot control acceptance is the way forward.
Acceptance means you accept the aspects of life that are beyond your control. So what does acceptance involve? Let us find out.
Acceptance is not easy. There are many things involved in it.
Acceptance involves understanding what our boundaries are.
Acceptance is knowing our limitations. It is to stop resisting the reality, instead to surrender and embrace the present.
When acceptance is done with serenity ,it means that our stress gets reduced and we focus on peace. There is space in your life for peace. That’s what the prayer God Grant Me the Serenity’ first line means –Acceptance.
Let us now look at the second line of serenity prayer.
2. Courage to change the things I can
Just as there are things that you cannot control, there are many things that you can control as well. So what are the few things that you can control?
Here are five things that you can control.
Change poor habits:
You can improve your habits and make better choices when it comes to your nutrition, fitness and work. Changing habits is not difficult if you know the habit loop.
Emotional wellbeing:
You can take care of yourself and your emotions. You can work on managing and improving your emotional well-being through self-care.
Make goal changes:
You can make major life decisions, such as where to live, career changes, or educational pursuits. You do have a choice that you can make.
Volunteer:
You have the power to become involved in your community, participate in social and civic activities, or volunteer for causes you care about.
Attitude:
Your attitudes and mindset can be changed or cultivated. For example, you can choose to adopt a more positive, resilient, or growth-oriented mindset.
Meaning of second line of Serenity prayer
The second line of the Serenity Prayer is “Courage to change the things I can.”. It emphasizes the importance of having the courage and determination to take action. The courage too has many components to it.
Courage means saying yes to life.
It means being proactive and a willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone and make necessary changes in life.
Courage also involves perseverance and determination. It’s about facing difficulties head-on to create meaningful change.
Courage encourages a focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems or issues that are beyond one’s control.
That’s what the prayer God Grant Me the Serenity’ second line means –Courage.
Let us now look at the third line of serenity prayer.
3. And wisdom to know the difference
The third line of the Serenity Prayer is:
“And wisdom to know the difference.”
This line emphasizes the importance of having the wisdom, to distinguish between the things that can be changed and the things that cannot be changed. This discernment is important to figure out what can be changed and what cannot be.
Wisdom involves several things.
Wisdom is understanding the difference. It’s about making informed and rational judgments about which aspects of life are within your control and which are not.
Wisdom involves emotional intelligence and self-control. Wisdom teaches you that reacting impulsively and giving way to emotions where things are not in your control is a waste of time.
Wisdom means letting go of things that cannot be changed. Wisdom helps us to “know the difference” and implies the ability to let go of futile efforts to change what is beyond your control.
Wisdom involves acknowledging that not everything can be changed and adapting to situations with grace.
Wisdom also means gaining knowledge and understanding. Wisdom involves seeking information and learning from experience to make informed decisions.
The third line of serenity prayer emphasizes that, in addition to accepting and having the courage to change, it’s essential to apply wisdom to make effective choices in the face of complexities of life.
And this is what the the first three lines of serenity mean.
Isn’t it wonderful that the serenity prayer encompasses and teaches us away to live?
The serenity prayer teaches you to be self aware and know your strengths and limitations. It teaches you to apply wisdom in life’s complexities. And it teaches you to strive to lead a balanced life.
So chant the serenity prayer everyday and get a firm grip of your life.
