Matthew
Matthew
Jul 10, 2017 · 1 min read

I agree with your assessment that the motivation was probably selfish, that the comment was an acknowledgment of the potential risk of making vulgar, sexual jokes around a female. If you’ve only experienced the female side of this scenario, I can understand why you’d be angry. However, you might want to consider viewpoints other than those you have experienced before judging all males so harshly.

Look at it this way, if you’re a female who finds vulgar, sexual jokes to be creating a hostile work environment, you have the option of reporting the behavior or filing a law suit. There are definitely social costs to reporting the behavior or filing a law suit, but the legal system and at least some segments of society will take you seriously. There is a real possibility, however small, of receiving some sort of compensation or retribution.

If you’re a male who feels that way, the number of people who will take your report seriously is effectively zero. The legal system does not take any sort of male sexual victimization seriously and society (both genders and both sides of the political aisle) treats male victims even worse. The result is that males who don’t approve of vulgar, sexual jokes either keep their mouths shut or grudgingly play along.

You might be thinking “Who cares? More male tears is a great thing!”, but the fact that males have nothing to gain and much to lose by reporting this behavior only serves to perpetuate it. It ultimately helps to strengthen the feedback loop that needs to be broken.

    Matthew

    Written by

    Matthew

    Contrarian. Relentlessly critical of my own beliefs. My feelings are, always have been, and always will be irrelevant.