I am a lone wolf
I recall times when I struggled with social life. Just talking with people used to make me nervous. Back then, I was a very closed off person.
Growing up, I learn a variety of things to get better socially. I improve interpersonal and communicating skills and become more outgoing with people. I learn all the skills because I prefer “creating myself” to “just being myself.”
I no longer have a problem with society, I feel like I get in with people so much better than before, yet I can’t deny “me” by nature as someone who really loves being alone rather than in a society.
I’ve realized that I have a lone wolf personality.
Here are some traits of a lone wolf i have. This may not be completely absolute or scientifically correct, and I will not discuss the psychological aspects either. Instead, I’m simply expressing my personal experience and characteristics as a lone wolf. As a result, it is possible that it does not apply to all people with similar conditions.
We love solitude so much
“Solitude is very addictive, when you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people any longer.”
It is the most unique trait of a lone wolf. Lone wolves are definitely introverts who recharge their batteries by spending time alone. The difference is that lone wolves get an intense feeling of enjoyment in living solitary. Comparing to normal introverts, lone wolves only have a very limited number of close friend. We value quality over quantity.
Lone wolves are not anti-social
Some people may misinterpret the term of lone wolf as anti-social.
Lone wolves are different from antisocial, normally they don’t appear to have some sort of mental disorder. It’s possible some of them had ever suffered of a mental disorder or something, but I am talking about a normal lone wolf.
They are quite confident when they need to interact with people, it’s just they are very guarded and only willing to open up to a very small circle at a certain moment.
Almost in all situations, they are able not to feel awkward when they have to stand in front of many people, such as when giving a presentation or a speech, or let’s say when demonstrating their singing ability.
As in my case, I have a confidence when i have to elaborate my ideas and speak out in front of a large number of people, I admit I still get nervous at first, but I know I will overcome it.
We like making an observation
When it comes to participating in an social event like a party or a gathering, lone wolves, as in my case, rarely do it. I have a totally different approach of interacting with people. Frequently, I prefer to travel alone or walk around the city observing people and things, rather than attending a party invitation from my acquaintances.
One of our special trait is we like making an observation, that’s how we interact.
Typically I am not really interested in having a chit-chat with random people and I rarely attend a party or visit a pub together with others. When I go to a cafe, a pub, or other public places, I prefer going by myself. Often, when I have plenty of spare time, I go home and chill in my room while doing my things.
For me, solitude provides both peace and enjoyment.
We are self-sufficient
Most of lone wolves, including me, don’t really have any ambition to seek authority, approval, or power in society, rather we feel more comfortable as an independent.
We tend to work as a professional
In terms of career, we are more likely to become a professional in which we earn a living from applying a specific knowledge and skills, such as becoming a writer, a photografer, an artist, an accountant, a lawyer, and so on — as opposed to an employee or a worker who are incorporated to a company.
I currently work in a government auditing institution. In my organization, there are two types of positions, namely structural positions and functional positions. Structural positions are equivalent to the management who has the responsibility and authority to control the organization’s business and the employee. The example of this position is the head of department.
Unlike the prior, functional positions are assigned to a specific job desk requiring certain competences and skill sets to achieve the goal of organization, for instance, an auditor, a lecturer, and so on.
Even though i am incorporated to a certain institution with a bureaucracy system, I have no intention to get in a structural position. It requires the ability and effort to deal with people with various interests, whereas I am not particularly into any stuffs regarding dealing and negotiating.
Furthermore, the position is arranged in level-by-level through hierarchy, so it apparently can put me in some sorts of political environment which I don’t want to get involved in.
In short, I choose functional position for my career path.
We rely on ourselves
Lone wolves don’t rely on people and other external forces, mostly, we rely on our own thoughts, morality, and desire. We are driven by ourselves.
We speak out what’s on our mind that sometimes we might be too straightforward, in fact, we don’t want to make a deceptive persona to get an approval from a certain circle or to be liked by the others.
We are independent, so we do what we want as long as it doesn’t across the morality.
We have different ambitions; don’t belong anywhere, and wanna stay away from any “hierarchy” things, still, we want to do our best and give impactful values to people around us by doing our things.
We still have a need of an intimate relationship, but…
One big question is, what about having an intimate relationship, do lone wolves have the interest in it?
I think we still do, but the intensity of being in a relationship with someone is not that much, as for normal people. Lone wolves are content to live with their own, so we are not desperate at all to have a companion. We confidently stand with our feet.
However, once we form an attachment to someone, the feeling will last forever.
The statement above sounds a little bit too much, but it’s true. We are hard to love, but much harder to forget :)
As in my case, I hardly ever chase after someone to be my partner, but once I find someone I click on, I will be extremely loyal.
In career, relationship, and many ways, a lone wolf tends to be self-sufficient.
Thinking is our greatest strength
As lone wolves, we exactly know the weakness and strength we have.
Dealing, negotiating, and pleasing with people may not be our cup of coffee, even we try to avoid it.
In addition, we are not really good at working in a team, mostly we have a better performance when working alone in which we can be free to explore the ideas within our thoughts.
Our greatest strength lies in our natural habit of “Thinking”.
We are original thinkers, we spend a lot of time in our room just to think.
In every interview and curriculum vitae I wrote, I always mention that “analytical thinking” is my main advantage. I know very well my power.
I am an abstract thinker who likes to explore “the world” in my mind, not only “the world”, even sometimes it’s a “whole galaxy”.
We are very self-aware
Thinking also leads me to increase my self-awareness. By thinking, I objectively evaluate myself, manage my emotion, and find a way to develop.
All too often, we over-think
Here’s a thing, while we may be very calculated most of time, too much thinking can put us drowning into our thoughts, making us full of doubts. As a result, sometimes we don’t want to bear a risk of an incoming chance, in another situation, all too often we get stressed so easily because we are too worried of something we think about.
As an over-thinker, somehow I find it very related:
We suffer more in imagination than in reality. -Seneca-
To make things clear up, I’d like to summarize my traits as a lone wolf.
- I love solitude so much.
- No, I’m not antisocial, I just prefer time to myself.
- I like making observations towards people and things around. This is how I interact. Probably I may not say “hi” every time, but I am always watching.
- I am self-sufficient in many ways, most of time I rely on myself. I don’t seek approval, authority, and power in society. I avoid being in any “hierarchy” things. I am content to be an independent.
- I am an original thinker.
- I like doing self-awareness activities to evaluate myself.
- All too often, I get stressed because I over-think.
Now that I recognize my personality, as a lone wolf, I know in some cases, I have to be able to adjust myself to get along with others, especially when I am working with my team.
As I said earlier in the beginning, “I don’t want to be just myself, instead, I want to create myself”.
I am a lone wolf who has a willingness to learn many things.
All in all, I accept my nature and want to be the best version of me.
