Failing with joy

You ever failed? Or let me ask what’s your biggest fail? Destroying a business meeting or screwing a task? Failing time from time maybe good. It may give you experience, make you learn some stuff. However, failing continuously? That’s my job nowadays.

There is exam I will take tomorrow, a final, on course Managerial Accounting. I gave empty paper-actually it was only containing my excuses for empty paper, to inform instructor- because I was sad. Yes, sad, I was experiencing though times, I still do, and I could not studied well, so I gave up on exam paper and handed it over.

This was not the only fail I had this semester, but it was definitely the biggest one. I got 37/100 points from one exam, 46/100 from another. My accounting class intsructor gave us a second chance, and I also got 15/100 from the make-up exam.

It is kind of hard for me, since I generally get good grades, at least decent grades, even if I got bad ones, it was mostly 1 out of 5 classes that I took low grades. This semester I just sucked. I cannot concentrate, cannot hold myself. One reason I have some feelings for a girl, and I do fail on that too, other ones probably are my own loosiness(I do not know if this word even exists).

So I continually failed for a couple of months. I want to get myself together, fix things up. But sometimes, trying to fix, thinking to fix, and to fix immediately may gave you some stress. Thats what I have now. I want to make things right. I do not have complete control, that’s one thing. And I cannot fix everything at once, that’s another.

That means, I gave up on the exam tomorrow. Even if I study until morning, I would probably get nothing because I am not feeling it.

Giving up seems shitty at first, especially for people who accustomed to be successful, yet I have to. Even if I am not successful, I will give up.

And I will fail with joy.

Just for once.

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