I Have
I do not know how to start this. I just woke up, and was browsing my phone. I am still on my bed. I checked Snapchat only, then I am on Medium.
I have deleted all social media apps on my phone, like 1 month ago or so. There was no Snapchat back then. I deleted them because I am broken. I am broken because I got rejected by the girl I love.
I have regrets. I have regrets because I made shitty decisions about this before. I could try to win the girl I love, yet I tried, or I intentionally did nothing. Then I went to to her and said I love her. Of course, I am the one who is sad now.
I have destructive thoughts. I think that people generally do not like me. Maybe they are right, I am not so social, because I am afraid that maybe I do something stupid, I do act bad, then people would talk about me the way I do not want them to talk about me.
I had destructive thoughts, more than these. That’s why I lose.
It is not just time they suck out of you. They take space, but not actually in your phone, but actually in your brain. They keep you ‘remember’. They keep you ‘see’. They keep you ‘desire’ without knowing the real story.
There are things you should forget, it would be better if you forget, but they do not allow. Yes, the control is on you, however, everything you wanted to have, live, see, feel are on them. Especially if you think too much, that’s just worse.
I do not know how to finish this, but I am better than before I am somehow sure. I will get back on track I guess. Nevertheless, I have to make sure there are no destructive thoughts left.
Do not think too much, just act.
Do not try to capture everything, just feel.
Do not fear, just step up.
Do think, but.
Do live.
photo: Urban Dictionary