“I do not consent to this discussion” — How to set conversational boundaries

Consent culture doesn’t start in our bedrooms or in our workshops. Consent culture doesn’t start at the top, being modeled by our leaders and influencers. No, consent culture must begin with us, in our everyday lives.

Conversations and discussions must start to be founded on mutual consent. We need to take an example from the world of BDSM and institute conversational safewords. A safeword is used to stop an interaction when it has become too intense or hurtful in some way. A safeword is a way to withdraw one’s consent from an interaction.

If we can’t respect boundaries in conversation, how in the world can we expect boundaries to be respected in sexuality, or in the workplace, or anywhere else, for that matter?

Let me tell you a couple stories…

The Disgruntled Trump Supporter

“I have my own bags,” I said to the cashier at an upscale grocery store in the Kansas City area. “I try not to use plastic anymore than I have to,” I added with a smile.

“Not that it matters. It all ends up in the landfill anyway and plastic bags biodegrade within 20 years,” he grumbled.

“Okay, I’d still rather use my own bags,” I replied calmly, though I began to feel…