Don’t look for an explanation as if there are rules. When you find out about someone diagnosed with lung cancer, you immediately wonder how many packs a day they smoked. You want a reason; something they did that put them in danger’s path, so you can comfort and deceive yourself into believing there are concrete steps you can take to avoid sharing their fate. To reflexively disbelieve someone accusing a powerful or seemingly decent person of sexual assault or harassment or to believe them while pointing to their clothing or profession is to sacrifice their sanity and reputation for the sake of your own sense of order in the world. It is a weak, cowardly, selfish move every time.
If you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol, you must stop being 1) around people that drink alcohol and 2) at places that serve alcohol. Your willpower will fail if you don’t. You need to truly decide you’re done, to commit, and then tocreate an environment to make the success of your commitment inevitable.