Relationships are terrifying, and sometimes we go through shit — and cause it — and not even realise it.
As you said (awesome turn of phrase!) “ If you do it over a period of time without being aware that you are doing it, with a lack of self-awareness that could make lesser heads pop like Rice Crispies under milk, you will probably foster something closer to outright hatred. It’s quite the empathy killer.”
I’ve been on both sides of that experience, and it took many years of conscious hard work to teach myself not to do it, and a few years of pain to get over the person who did it to me.
Like another comment on this piece said “ Breaking up is hard to do. But often, growing up is harder.”
I think the fact that she wrote about it is an attempt to process and to grow and hopefully, not do it again. Maybe that guy did dodge a bullet, but it doesn’t mean no one should touch her again, ever. The two of them were probably just really not suited to each other. I don’t think this was just her fault, he probably had his fair share of power play going on too.
Anyways, more thinking on this than I planned to do today!