Girl Talk
Serial Killers Don’t Bake Snicker Doodles, Do They?
I was in the airport a few years ago, waiting for my flight. A woman with large, jangling earrings and rings on eight of ten fingers sat down next to me and immediately started chatting away. An overprocessed blonde with long fingernails and loud perfume, smacking her chewing gum with vigor.
She told me she was on her way to LA to meet a man she had met on Bumble. She said she’d been talking to him for six months and was sure it was love. He had apparently bought her a plane ticket to come see him.
And then she looked at me and said with a smile, “Um… ax murderers don’t buy you plane tickets, do they?” That made us laugh. She told me more about him and his hobbies and said he loves to bake, followed by “C’mon, how many serial killers bake snicker doodles?”
The gallows humor continued when I asked if anyone knew where she was going. She told me all her girlfriends had insisted on her phone location and had joked that it better not indicate that she was at the bottom of the ocean or inside a storage facility or dumpster. “I told them they might see me on the news!”
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
— Margaret Atwood
