I’m an individual who doesn’t shy away from learning new ways to creatively express myself. Whether if its photography, apparel, a pinch of graphic design, music production, song writing, videography or creative journalism, I approach each with the same ferocity. I embrace the expected constructional hurdles, and I find satisfaction in the rectification of those hurdles.

Admittedly so, the prior paragraph is a bit omissive. I neglected to include the fact that after a bit of amateur psychoanalysis that I am indeed addicted to “the creative process”. Every strong point I alluded to earlier, I reluctantly admit that they’re negated and usurped by my need to create and facilitate.

I periodically find myself abandoning projects for the added challenge of an extra creative obstacle to solve. Thefalsehood that I tell myself is that it isn’t an abandonment, but rather that it’s only a mere addition to my work load, but the truth is that the prior project, the new project, and any additional subsequent projects will all lay dormant, hardly to ever to be revisited again. It is an endless revolving door of uncompleted tasks resulting in an overall waste of resources as well as a loss of confidence from those who depend on me to bring a project to completion.

Generally, I will come to the aid of someone else who I feel I can be of an assistance to, but the assistance that I offer, often times, isn’t from the goodness of my heart. It is essentially to pacify my inherent need to manage.

My personally defined addiction, and/or dependency, breeds an incessant scenario in which I find myself stressing out over self imposed deadlines, the incompletion forsaken projects, and a need to reestablish the lost good will of those who are expectant of me to bring my project theory(s) into fruition. Often, I find myself sacrificing time with my family & friends in exchange for living up to my self-imposed obligations that I have earlier forfeited as a result of this need.

The issue is so granulated at this point that the completion of a project doesn’t equate into a minor victory of this issue, but more so it equates into a feeding of that very problem. I will use an example of an individual with a gambling addiction. If a gambling addict has a winning night at a casino, it doesn’t appease their need to gamble, it only manages to feed the individual a false image of justification of their actions. The truth is that theodds are that they will always lose a disproportionate amount of times compared to the amount of times that they will win, but this truth doesn’t always register to a gambling addict. If I’m able to complete a project, no matter how large or small, I am more inclined to continue my flawed methodology of project management.

Recently I’ve made modifications to my approach. I’ve abdicated responsibilities that I earlier deemed too valuable to relinquish. I delegate task more efficiently, I share responsibilities more efficiently and I make it a point to be more cognizant of myself during project discussions. I exercise a much greater restraint to not buy into every good to great idea, and I prioritize and organize much more effectively than in the past.

I’m still a work in process, but work and process are the operative words. The irony is that completion of this very article will either contribute into a tailspin reversion into old habits or it will be a further representation of the positives to come from my alterations of my prior methodologies.