That might sound ungrateful, but if your parents truly want what’s best for you, they’d likely hope

7 min readDec 2, 2020

A publication ban was enforced due to sensitive discussions of Cindy’s mental health history, and it makes it challenging to unpack exactly what happened. It’s also unclear how much money Cindy actually raised, but the police did seize a storage locker full of donated goods and medical equipment.Cindy’s sentence required her to stay off the internet after the ordeal, but a mutual friend told me that she was back on pretty quickly under a pseudonym — again mostly posting about her nephew, but this time to a much smaller circle of online friends. Cindy’s probation recently ended, and the entire incident was expunged from her record like it never happened.“If I had a typical person I wrote about, it’s a white woman who is 24, a little bit socially awkward, and has experiences with depression,” says Taryn Harper Wright, who ran the popular scam-busting website Warrior Eli Hoax Group.

Being an individual means differentiating your outlook on life in a way that’s unique to you, because no one knows you better than yourself. Until you stop living your life the way other people tell you to, you won’t know what actually floats your boat.

Cindy’s story became a minor local scandal, with reports in several southern Ontario newspapers. One published picture showed her on her way from a pretrial hearing; she was staring straight ahead, looking annoyed and disheveled, wearing what appeared to be a stained green tracksuit. The journalist O’Reilly attended Cindy’s first appearance and said she “spectacularly collapsed” in the courtroom. “I don’t know if it was real or faked or from stress, but it was quite a scene,” says O’Reilly. “She seemed unwell.”

Cindy is far from the only young-ish woman ripping off friends and family members on the internet, using social media and crowdfunding sites to raise funds with bogus stories of illness and personal tragedy.

She still lives in a tidy but modest high-rise apartment building across the street from Lake Ontario, and old friends who have largely cut ties occasionally still see her out running errands. The enduring consequences in cases like this seem to be personal rather than criminal. “I’ll donate to keep her in jail!” wrote one of Cindy’s former friends after she was busted.

As part of a plea bargain, Cindy ultimately pled guilty to a charge of theft under $5,000 and, with no prior record, was sentenced to two years probation, including mandatory counseling. One report indicated that she had no supporters in the courtroom. The father of Hilary, Cindy’s biggest champion, read a victim impact statement.

At the end of the day, nobody really has life figured out, not even your parents. They might know what’s worked best for them. But they certainly don’t know what’s best for you.
In the wake of the revelation, there was a lot of tsk-tsking and a reckoning of sorts. A store manager in the local mall had been so moved by Cindy’s story — which she heard when Cindy (in a motorized wheelchair) and her mother (who was crying) visited her store — that she had donated eight boxes of goods belonging to her deceased mother. Now, she wanted them back.
My feelings about Cindy’s fraud were more complicated, though. It took me months before I understood both why I couldn’t stop watching and why, every time I looked at a picture of Cindy or read about her case, I felt a distinct stirring in the pit of my stomach.

A vigorous discussion continued on Cindy’s Facebook page, with former friends sharing news stories and general disgust. After months of rallying in support, they were incredulous about being taken advantage of and her actions had left an understandably bitter taste. One friend noted that her office had given their Christmas donation to Cindy instead of a struggling local family. “I am ashamed of even caring,” wrote another.

Growing up is a cycle that never ends. It’s also really hard to do, which is perhaps why so many are tempted to think that they’re grownups by the time they’ve hit the legal drinking age.

That might sound ungrateful, but if your parents truly want what’s best for you, they’d likely hope

Written by Inessibgolf