What does your choice of work messaging platform say about you?

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Gone are the days when everyone would be tied to the office email system. Different folks require different keystrokes, and today’s collaboration tools are every bit as likely to foster rivalry as they are teamwork. Some people flit from Outlook to WhatsApp and back at a whim, whilst others stick religiously to one platform only. So, which tribe do you belong to?

Slack Panther

Slack’s origin as a gaming development platform isn’t lost on you; you cut your teeth in the online gaming arena, where your prowess in World of Warcraft was matched only by your insults regarding the sexual proclivities of other players’ mothers. Now you thrive in the Slackosphere, where you vent your spleen via Ermahgerd memes or block capitals, secure in the knowledge that your role as the sole Ruby developer makes you all but unfireable. …

Is it still L&D when you’re not learning or developing?

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There are a few phrases guaranteed to instil dread in the heart of anyone who hears them: Rail Replacement Bus Service. New Coldplay album. And — worst of all — Learning Objectives. Heh, and you thought that when you put your pen down on your last exam all those years ago, it was the end of droning lecturers in dusty classrooms? Wrong, wrong, wrong: you’ve just received your appraisal plan from your manager, and there are no fewer than five mandatory courses.

Few people relish the prospect of workplace training. A three-day training course sucks up resources like an educationese Nosferatu, for all concerned. Centrally-hosted courses involve travel and accommodation for the candidates; on-site courses involve the same for the instructors; both are expensive, and the coffee is invariably foul. …

So it’s all gone horribly wrong. Can you fix it?

There are a few career choices that involve little in the way of human interaction — lighthouse keeper, hermit or, god forbid, freelancer — but for most of us, the daily grind involves spending upwards of forty hours a week in the company of a group of misfits, the exact make-up of which being largely outside of our control.

And your day-to-day survival in this hippodrome is likely to depend on the strength and quality of the bonds that you form with your colleagues, a feat that can stretch your social skills to breaking point. …

Infinite Beta

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