There are moments we run out of things to say when we talk to strangers, friends of friends, people we don’t spend a lot of time with, etc. Silence can be peaceful however there are instances silence become awkward. Moments like this can be turned to long, engaging conversations with a few steps suggested in this article. These tips are not new they are part of most conversations, many people don’t notice when they utilize them. When aware of this it’s easy to gain control of a conversation’s length. Practice & a little courage can help grow conversation skills with these tips. List is numbered from 1 to 12 in no particular order only number 12 is last for a reason. Let’s begin.
1. Ask questions
When talking it’s not only important to speak for a long time. It’s essential to understand. This makes questions valuable. When, Where, Why, What & How. Ask yourself & the person you are talking to these questions. It’s relevant to ask concerning an observation, what you said or what the other person said. To make the last sentence clear let’s provide examples.
Questions concerning an observation
Anything related to your five senses can be regarded as an observation. This can be what you see, hear, smell, feel or taste. For example ask a chef why meat they served was tender, this may become a conversation about the condition the animal was exposed to, where it was kept & how it was cooked. Another example can be asking the cause of a regular loud noise when you visit a friend’s house. Friend might reply to you by talking about a new construction project in their neighborhood & how it’s going to affect their area.
Questions to ask yourself
To expand a topic of discussion there might be a need to ask yourself questions about this topic. When talking about a door an individual can ask themselves questions about its features, where it goes, how it’s operated, when it must be closed, what type of wood it’s made of & why it’s necessary to have a door. Here is a brief description of a door with this guideline. “A door is an important part of most enclosed spaces such as buildings, vehicles, cupboards, etc. Its handles make it easy to open, hinges make it bend & key is for locking. A door covers the opening of an enclosed space. Most doors are operated by pulling & pushing. They are closed when it’s necessary to improve security e.g. at night a house door gets closed to prevent burglary. Timber is commonly used to make doors & doors are necessary to allow people & their belongings to enter.” Asking simple questions to answer them can make a shallow subject deep as seen in this example.
Questions to ask the person you are talking to
When talking to a person we don’t always understand everything they say. It might be their choice of words, context, description, & so on, that can’t be understood. Asking questions to understand can improve communication & length of a conversation. A person might say, “I recently witnessed an accident in the dark”. There are a lot of questions that can be asked about this sentence because it’s not clear. Questions such as, when is recently? Was it this afternoon? Or last week? What type of accident was it? Where you involved in the accident or you only saw it happen? When you say dark do you mean in the evening or the lights were switched off? Prolonged conversation better understanding.
After asking any question you can share your side of the topic e.g. you ask where somebody grew up also talk about where you grew up.
2. Argue
Arguments can be friendly. Most arguments start with a “no”. Saying no can improve conversation skills a lot. A conversation were people are agreeing to everything can be boring. Apart from this they can be short because these kind of conversations are one sided. It’s better to learn to say no when you disagree & share your own opinion. This can develop into a long discussion where participants learn from each other. Correct, share ideas, disagree, discuss with no need to break each other’s jaws after your argument.
3. Tell a story
A story is an excellent way to pass the time when conversing. Talk about a past experience, what you read, heard, watched, etc. Details such as weather, time, surrounding noise, speed, & so on, matter when describing a story. An extraordinary story can make listening interesting. Add jokes when you can to prolong & spice the conversation.
4. Share what you know about a topic
We are all experts in a particular topic yet we don’t always need certificates to be experts. Understand what you are good at, when there is an opportunity to flex your skill share your knowledge in detail. This can make a long conversation. It could be something as simple as how to preserve food in the kitchen. I’m not an expert here however it’s a relevant topic that can captivate listeners for a while.
5. Comment
When a person acts, looks or speaks a particular way you can comment on this. This normally applies when what you are observing is different to the norm. Comments that make the listener emotional can become long conversations. Excitement & anger can make conversations long. Emotional people talk, this can beat awkward silence. When a colleague lose weight, say “you have lost weight” It doesn’t always have to be a compliment, though compliments are great comments. They might reply to you by talking about their new work-out schedule, diet or recent illness. There can’t be awkward silence when such topics are mentioned. There can be a lot to expand by asking further questions.
6. Advice
An individual might be working with a method that’s not as efficient as a method you know. Talk to them about how to improve what they are doing. You can also ask advice from somebody who understands a topic better. An example would be asking a neighbor who recently painted their house how many liters they bought for each room. That way you don’t buy less than you need at the same you get to communicate with a neighbor for hours while they share details about how, where, when, why & what happened when they painted their own house.
7. Share experiences
Share your experiences no matter how sad or embarrassing. It’s interesting to hear embarrassing experiences. You don’t lose anything when you talk about past humiliations, sad or happy moments with people close to you.
8. Talk about yourself
Details about your fears, weaknesses, strengths & aspirations are great topics for long conversations. Questions can arise that you know a lot about & you can provide lots of details.
9. Past, present, future
You can talk about your past, present & future. This can include ideas, dreams, daily activities, & so on.
10. Share ideas
New ideas to a situation can be helpful. When something comes to mind don’t hesitate to share ideas at work, school & home to improve how things are done. Great ideas that are implemented correct, can provide better results to any situation.
11. Controversial topics
Include topics that are not simple. Topics that most people try not to talk about. When you begin a conversation on such a topic people might speak a lot. It’s an opportunity to let out what was held back. Held back opinions produce long conversations.
12. Gossip
This is not my favorite, however it works when conversing for hours. Gossip can be toxic it’s advisable to only talk about positive things when gossiping. You might create unnecessary chaos. That said, we can’t deny that other people contribute a lot to our lives. What you see, do, think about or say to others can be talked about with friends, relatives & colleagues for hours.
There is nothing more to say about this topic at the moment. These are all the available tips. Try them they might work for you next time you have nothing to say to the next person. It might be on the phone, at work, home, business meeting, school, you name it.
