Ego. What exactly is the ego? You hear this word all the time but do you really know what it means?
I googled it and this is what one definition says “ A persons sense of self-esteem or self-importance”
another definition I read was “ The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity” That one goes a little deeper.
Here’s what my view is of the Ego, The ego is your outer shell, your body, your looks, it’s the role you’d like to play in this world its the way you’d like others to perceive you. The Ego needs to be right, the ego needs to be validated, the ego needs attention and is way too cool to show emotion and too cool to care what anyone thinks of it.
Here’s the thing. The ego does care yes the ego cares entirely too much and about all the wrong things. The ego cares how its perceived by others, the need for it’s validation is so severe that they suppress what they really feel and act from a place of fear. Fear of love, fear or true connection, fear of being found out.. I want to give you an example of someone operating from their ego self.
I’m going to share with you a story about a girl named Sarah. Sarah grew up in a family system where being different or standing out in anyway was frowned upon, but for the most part Sarah never really cared she liked to dance to the beat of her own drum. She was determined to stand out she had so many dreams. One dream in particular was that she was going to be a singer. So she would sing all of her favorite songs and pretend she was on stage performing for an audience.
Only, not everyone was a fan of Sarah’s singing. Especially her mother. Sarah’s mother would constantly scream at the little girl to shut up! She would say please will you please shut up you are hurting my ears. Her mother hated the sound of noise’s coming from her daughter. Song after song Sarah was told to shut up and that she wasn’t good and she should stop. One day Sarah finally agreed to stop singing. She thought to her herself maybe I am bad maybe I do suck. Sarah never sang in front of anyone again. Fast forward years later into adulthood the little girl now in her twenties she’s having the time of her life. Going to every hot club in town life of the party still center stage so many friends, or so it appears Sarah keeps everyone at arms length. anytime anyone gets too close she lashes out burning every bridge she crosses leaving behind a trail of negativity. Sarah had so many suppressed emotions bottled up inside her the only emotion she even knew how to express was anger because she knew it kept her safe.
Sarah’s story is a tragedy and very common. She pushes everyone away out of fear, fear of not being enough fear of not being accepted for who she really is. No one really knows the real Sarah, not even Sarah herself she’s has spent many years building up her Ego mask that she lost herself her true self. Everyone who knows Sarah would say she’s an angry, stuck up party girl. In reality she’s still just a little girl looking for her mothers validation.
If only she knew that she doesn’t have to continue like this. She can learn from her past mistakes and evolve. She can heal these wounds from her past. It’s never too late to come back to the light. All she wants is to love and to be loved. It’s really all anyone ever wants. it’s the connection we are looking for but because of all of the emotions we choose to not face the truth of what’s really going on. we choose not to look at the dark parts but instead push them down suppressing who you really are so you are trapped! Wake up! stop blocking your moments of happiness and joy. You don’t have to wear a mask you can take it off the world is in desperate need of what you have. You don’t know how your story or your light can impact someone’s life. I promise you are doing the world a disservice by hiding who you are.
