Ball Games: Weird Science-Y Things You Didn’t Know About Testicles
What a ballsy move. Grow a pair. Kicked his nuts. Oddballs. Gonads. I’ve always thought of testicles as the male equivalents of breasts in women. My logic behind that is simple — they’re two, they’re soft, cushiony, and really, really fun. So while breasts are called fun bags, I think testicles should be too. I’m not sure if you’ve read what we had to say about breasts, but here’s some really cool things you didn’t know about testicles!
- Let’s begin from the very beginning, and find out how testicles came to be known as testicles. Well, the word — testicles — is derived from the Latin word testis, which means umm…‘witness’. Nobody really knows for sure how this happened, but history suggests that in ancient Rome, men had to swear on their testicles in court; and in pre-biblical times, people swore on another man’s testicles because they were supposed to give witness to a man’s virility.
- Cremasteric reflex is this awesome reflex response of the testicles that can be best seen if you caress a man’s inner thigh with cool hands. You will see the bad boys shrink, and move closer to his body. This crazy mechanism is a response to threat, and is meant to keep the precious gems out of harm’s way.
- Testicles grow up to 50 per cent in size during sexual arousal. Good way to check if your man is truly pleased, or plainly pretending. Don’t shoot him if it doesn’t grow all that big, okay? Remember no two balls are alike, not even the two on the same man.
- You know how we learnt in school that testicles in humans hang outside the body because they need a lower body temperature for sperm production? Well amusingly enough, a lot of other mammals like elephants, anteaters, and aardvarks have their balls inside the body, instead of outside — right by their kidneys. This is getting a little weird now. Cannot wait for the next one!
- Let’s talk about blue balls. When a man stays aroused for a long period without a release, there is a fluid build-up in the testicles, leaving a bluish tint because of all the engorged blood vessels. Yes, it can be very unpleasant. No, you don’t have to have sex to ease it. A cold shower can help too. Hand ’em a bar of soap the next time they complain. Ha-ha.
- Some men are born with only one testicle. By the way, just one is enough to fertilize a woman’s eggs, and produce sufficient testosterone for the body.
- Men and women have the same amount of nerve endings in their genitals, but the balls have a lot more pain receptors. In fact, these receptors run all the way to the stomach. If you want proof, just kick a man there and watch him roll on the floor with his tummy clutched. On second thoughts, please don’t.
- …Because testicles aren’t protected by any muscles or bones like all other organs, they’re very vulnerable, and just a kick is enough to make a man sterile for life! OUCH.
- If we started with the middle ages, we must end there too. In the middle ages, men got their left testicle removed because they believed that baby boys come from the right testicle, and girls came from the left.
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