On Building Relational Intelligence

There’s an old saying that says that “people are a product of their environment”. But a more accurate way to state it would be to say that people are a product of their experiences. Everyone has a unique set of experiences, lived over many years. And these experiences inform all our thoughts, decisions and responses, shaping not only an employee’s personal life, but their approach to work as well. And just as no two people share the same experience base, no two people will approach their job in the same way either.

This has become especially true in an age when digital disruption and a heightened attention to social and cultural realities, employee engagement and diversity are at the forefront of an evolving workplace. For many managers, the default response is to fall back on training. After all, intense training can narrow differences in performance to produce specific outcomes from specific inputs.

But there is more at work than simply “training”. And companies are beginning to realize that their employee’s experiences are key to moving an organization forward. In addition to training, managers are learning that relationships and connection mean as much as skillsets.

What is Relational Intelligence?

Coined by Esther Perel, a renowned author and expert on relationships, the term relational intelligence is defined as the ability to connect with others within the workplace and to establish mutual trust. It’s the ability to connect with people to help establish boundaries, understand an individual’s work habits and learn how to deal with disagreements and violations of trust.

These connections extend to work teams as well, with each team member bringing their view on how to approach tasks. For example, some like to work alone while others relish the group dynamics. Some want to be recognized for little milestones and others want to simply move on with no fuss made over them.

Relational Intelligence should not be confused with emotional intelligence. With emotional intelligence, the focus is on the ability to control one’s own emotions while maturely handling interpersonal relationships and navigating the emotions of others. Rather, relational intelligence is about being connected and the ability to stay connected amid tasks. It helps forge the personal connections that act as a bridge from one team member’s approach to a problem to another’s and provides the establishment of mutual trust to overcome the problem.

The Shifting Workplace

The conversation around the importance of relational intelligence is taking place due to a rapidly shifting workplace. With more and more people connected digitally, the need to stay personally connected among employees is growing. One reason is that expectations are rising among workers. With growing evidence that engaged, diverse workplace cultures improve business performance, so too are expectations rising among those workers as their perception of the workplace matures and becomes more sophisticated. Workers now seek to find personal identity in the workplace and want companies to accept and acknowledge this.

Another reason is the emphasis on emotions and their impact on business. Companies today tie their identity to their diversity and create an outreach that stretches beyond traditional marketing into social media and community responsibility. As such, they prize loyalty, ethical performance, trust, and other emotions as part of that company identity.

A final reason is that the kind of workplace itself is changing. As developed nations shift from a predominantly production and agricultural base to a service-based workforce, high touch, close interpersonal relationships are often blended with the approach to clients and with one another. As this type of business evolves, work becomes about interpersonal relationships as the company uses the same approach to landing and retaining clients.

Challenges for Leaders

Company leaders are tasked with an evolving set of choices as well. One is that they must navigate ethical challenges to service stakeholders while conducting business soundly. But they must do so in a more diverse environment that requires them to manage across cultures and personal experiences. It’s this combination of emotional intelligence with ethical intelligence that forms the basis for relational intelligence and provides a launchpad to overcoming barriers.

The challenges for building relational intelligence among leadership and building connections with their staff include:

· Navigating unsure global concerns from environmental concerns to cross-cultural issues to political volatility that affects their business.

· Building close interpersonal relationships with stakeholders, many of whom may not share the leader’s empathy or commitment to his or her employees.

· Creating and leading a diverse workforce across cultures, economic realities and even distance and keeping them under the umbrella of core company values and corporate culture initiatives.

· Creating an inclusive organizational architecture.

With the depth and complexity of the challenges involved, it becomes clear that developing relational intelligence in today’s business climate is a necessity and not a luxury.

Relational Intelligence as a Competitive Advantage

Those who learn to genuinely connect and develop relational intelligence project likeability and influence and stand out among groups. It is the development of skills that allows someone to stay connected to the person they are dealing with even amid tasks in day to day life. This skill can improve company performance internally as well as provide a competitive advantage.

One study by Gartner indicates that only 33% of workers feel their company leaders have a clear direction for the company. That means a lot of workers feel disconnected and left out of the relationship after contributing time and effort to their jobs. Conversely, the study found that in companies where change is explained, demystified and made part of the discussion and relationship, 80% of employees agree that they feel comfortable developing new skills because the company is committed to the relationship with them and in building their strengths.

From a competitive standpoint, if employees feel as though the company leaders have built strong relationships with their employees and are committed to building up their individual strengths, then chances are the company will take that same connected approach to customer and client retention.

Building Relational Intelligence

Building relational intelligence is about balance. And just as in our personal lives, a balance must be present in relationships and connections at work. This means that that leaders need to not only connect to employees to learn how they work and what they expect, it means nurturing the balance between the right amount of autonomy to perform their job and build personal accomplishment while simultaneously ensuring that each person remains a part of the team.

It also means learning the difference between conflict and communication. Because everyone has experiences that inform their world view, they may communicate differently between individuals as well among methods of communication such as verbal, emails, memos, etc. At times, conflict will arise, and resolution will depend on leaders knowing and understanding the personality and views of each person involved.

Finally, understanding self-awareness and accountability are important in resolving conflict as well. Rather than assign blame, by concentrating on relational aspects such as what each party can or could do differently will lead to better accountability and quicker resolution.

Relational Intelligence in Practice

Building connections and the ability to effectively cultivate relationships are becoming more important in today’s business world. In the past, relational intelligence was considered a “soft skill”. However, as the modern workplace continues to evolve and include more diverse cultures, relational intelligence is fast becoming as important as technical skills in building a successful workforce. And those workforces are more likely to engage in new ideas and innovate, share their thoughts and share information inclusively for the betterment of one another as well as the company.

Five to Nine helps maintain the social fabric of your organization by encouraging community-building and relationship cultivation. Request a demo today.