Financial Abuse in Relationships is also a Successful Woman’s Problem — Part 1
When we talk about financial abuse, economic abuse or living with a money bully, we think of the poor women with bruises. Those bruises are sometimes physical, but always emotional.
If you are not familiar with what financial abuse is, I will save you Googling. Wikipedia describes it as:
“The legal or unauthorized use of a person’s property, money, pension book or other valuables (including changing the person’s will to mane the abuser as heir)”
It happens to men, but the majority of victims are women.
Specific ways that it shows up in a relationship is where your partner:-
- Tries to stop you working, or getting a job
- Creates obstacles so you cannot travel or move around easily without them
- Spends household money but does not contribute any or enough to household expenses
- Wants to know what you earn so they know what they can take
- Opens accounts, loans, and credit in your name but controls access to them and makes minimal if any repayments
- Expects you to be a free source of labor in the home
- Makes major financial decisions without talking to you first
- Limits what you are allowed to spend money on, particularly if it is for you.
Thankfully in 2015 in the UK, under the Serious Crime Act Section 76, controlling or coercive behavior between partners became illegal.
The examples that I give above, create a picture of an emotionally downtrodden person who may or may not be suffering physical abuse. We can digest this. It is what we are used to seeing, hearing and reading about.
What if I were to tell you that such injustice is not confined to women on welfare or in low paid jobs? What if I were to tell you that there are successful woman with the right clothes, the right house and the car, who are as emotionally worn down as her less financially successful sister? Would you believe me?
Even if you did, would you feel sorry for her? She has it all. The tragedy is that often a women like this does have it all. All; except the most precious gift a women can possess (no not that one, you filthy bugger).
I am talking about her sense of self worth, her self esteem. It is often easier to be a visible victim. Yes I did say easier. Not that it is easy for the woman, hell no! But when it comes to getting support, the woman with obvious physical bruises and emotional scars is better placed to be understood, sympathized with, and ultimately rescued.
If you are struggling to understand the comparison between the two, I will give some context in my next article. It may well be uncomfortable reading for you. Especially if your public image is part of who you are. But confronting our lives has never been easy.
