I went to a high performing school and a high performing university- and I had several burnouts during my degree. After university, I joined a top blue-chip company which in a high performing role. I started suffering from huge anxiety, I tried lots of different things, therapy etc.
At the beginning of 2019, I received a book as a present that talks about how eating disorders anxiety and depression are a lot to do with faith and not having a connection to something bigger than us. The book talked about the idea that eating disorders is a spiritual problem, that we eat to fill the void inside ourselves, the emotional and the spiritual void — that clicked for me and at the same time terrified me, because until this time I had been fiercely atheist.
I discovered that was what was causing my anxiety because I believed that basically life left to its own devices will turn into a shit show. I believed that I had to constantly make things okay. It was through the whole of last year that I started to find faith.
I taught my self to believe that life is on my side and there are universal forces out there and life is looking out for me and that wiped out my anxiety. It changed belief system from “I’m not okay, you’re not okay, the world isn’t okay and I need to fix everything” towards “I’m okay, you’re okay, the world is exactly as it should be and I am not responsible to fix it”. The shift from fear to faith helped me let go of my anxiety. I started to see and believe that life is on my side, and life isn’t going to send me stuff that I can’t cope with.
I realised that my anxiety was because I was living in future too much, and depression was because I was living in the past too much rather than seeing the beauty of the present. The shift from fear to faith is what helped me let go of my anxiety.
Now I work as a life coach. Human connection is a really big thing for me and it helped me — learning how to be vulnerable and ask for help and share about my problems and not trying to fix everything myself, was the biggest shift for me.