Last week I wrote a blog post in honour of all the hard working mums as their children go off back to school. For all you Superwomen who haven’t got children, well you might have felt a bit left out.
The truth is that everyday we wake up; we go back to school. Everyday we show up for the school of life and the lessons it has to give us. But unlike the schools that we attended as youngsters ourselves, we don’t always know what the days’ curriculum is going to be.
Sometimes the lessons of life are easy peasy and we happily and joyfully embrace them. But sometimes the lessons are just so damn hard and we can’t get our head around them and they don’t make any sense to us and where’s the teacher to help us out when we need them most? And just like when we were sitting for our O’ levels (sorry showing my age here, I mean GCSE’s) and we needed a certain grade to be able to move on into the 6th form, we had to resit the class, until we understood the lesson and could translate that to pass the exam. And so it is with those hard lessons of life.
However, those hard lessons of life don’t always have a text book, or at least one that we can make sense of. I wonder why that is?
Here’s what I think.
Our core beliefs are formed in our early years, depending on what publication you read, some say by the time you are 5 years old, others say 7 years old. But lets not get too hung up about exactly when. The point is that these core beliefs form fixed statements and ideas that we have about ourselves. They help us to predict what might happen and to help us make sense of the world around us.
Our core beliefs are unconscious, which basically means we are not always aware of what they are or indeed when we are reacting or responding to them.
Ok, so let me get this straight. When I feel fear or sadness, that emotion is coming from my 7-year-old self. Wow, that explains a lot. Especially when I think back to what I was like as a 7-year-old.
My 7-year-old self was very shy and introvert, still wetting the bed at night and trying desperately to be a good girl so as not to get punished. But no matter how good I was I could not escape my father’s “special form of punishment”.
So it makes perfect sense to me that one of my core beliefs is that “I am not good enough”.
This one core belief helps me to understand why I fall into the pattern of people pleasing. Because I am still the 7-year old trying to be a “good girl” and “good girls” do what everyone wants and expects of them, right?
It also helps to make sense of the crippling procrastination that I have felt from time to time. Because why would I get on with developing my website, writing my blog, or putting myself out there, if unconsciously I am still holding onto the the 7-year old belief that “I am not good enough”.
And in relation to making sense of the perfectionism which had me record and re-record and learn my lines off by heart so that I could be word perfect for a 2 and a ½ minute video that took 3 days to complete. Well there again was the 7-year old quietly saying “I am not good enough” and “it will never be good enough”.
To be honest I could go on and on demonstrating to you, how this one core belief keeps showing up in my life.
Time and time again I have observed in my practice, that no matter what issues women come to me seeking help for, quite often the underlying belief that these women have is that “I am not good enough”. And unconsciously holding on to this belief acts like kryptonite, slowly draining your super powers and energy.
If you are plagued by the “I am not good enough” belief, or suspect that you maybe, then click on the link below for access to my FREE video. In this video I will introduce you to a technique which will help you to disrupt and release this core belief and to replace it with one that is more supportive and empowering for you.