So many amazing people.

Thank you Medium. Having been submerged in a hole for a few years, I stumbled into Medium to take small steps towards the things I always said I wanted to do. And as I started, I was stunned by my body response to just getting started, to just pressing “post”. And now a few articles in, that seems to have dramatically reduced. Amazing. Weird. Grateful. And then after several posts which were focusing on my anxiety I started to notice how there were so many people that were incredibly courageous and inspiring. I hadn’t seen that from the depths of my hole. I had kind of forgotten it. Lost my footing, my belief, even faith. Anxiety can hold you down and spin you round and round until you’re giddy from battling it, and even self-loathing from the preoccupation with self. After all, most of us know we’re not just our anxiety. We’re many other things too, even when it’s hard to feel that, or find that. We get glimpses at least I think?

And so now I’ve happened to stumble into people that amaze me with their writing or their strength or vulnerability, wit, insight. I just appreciate that courage and honesty and talent to express. So so many writers, so many life experiences. And it’s become harder to write about my anxiety because I am now wowed by all these amazing human beings. PTSD in Afghanistan, losing brothers to addiction, processing emotional trauma before dying. Huge stuff. Off the charts bravery.

It’s funny because I don’t see us running around on the streets with placards saying “wholehearted” or “open” or “vulnerable”. I don’t often hear sage wisdom even from various circles of friends. A large part of the western world, as a general rule, seem to hide their goodness maybe? Afraid to let it out? Or maybe Medium is a platform for freedom, a bolt-hole to break the shackles and bonds of being tied up by what “we should be” out there in our offices, at parties, even in our own homes. Sometimes — speaking as a man here — I come across somebody that’s willing to have a chat that goes beyond the normal safe haven of having it under control. And it’s refreshing because the authenticity is unmistakable and rare. Of course we don’t need to flood people with our truths (I tried that) but flashes of vulnerability are really too cool for speech. It’s the new cool? I’m an early adopter for once. Finally on trend with the the trend that isn’t even trending yet.

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