Budget — 430
5:25 AM — My loud alarm rings, and I wake up from what I consider a world class dream. I struggle to find my phone so I can dismiss the alarm and start this lovely day. I find the phone but before I dismiss the alarm, I think to myself “10 more minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt,” so I snooze it.
5:35 AM — The alarm rings again. This time I am pissed. I direct my anger towards capitalism as I wonder why we have to wake up early to earn an honest living. “Should I move closer to work?” I ask myself. “Should I start sleeping at 7 pm so I can get enough sleep.” As I start drowning in these deep thoughts, I doze off again. I think to myself that these are not the kind of thoughts I should be having early. I will figure out whether to move closer to work or whether to start sleeping early some other time. I proceed to snooze the alarm one last time and promise myself to prepare as fast as I can so I can finish up early and leave for work in time.
5:45 AM — The alarm rings and I literally jump out of the bed. I prepare myself very fast, and leave the house at 6:30 (Normally I leave around 6:15)
6:30 AM — I board a matatu and pay 80/- shillings to town. It’s rather chilly. I should have carried a sweater or something. Luckily it’s warm inside the jav, so I should be able to survive. The transit is usually long due to the hectic traffic during peak hours, so I use the time to listen a podcast called the “Witness History.”
7:35 AM — I get to town and board another matatu. This time I pay 50/- and during the transit, I sit next to a very interesting character. His breath leaks of alcohol. I check the calendar to confirm that this is indeed a monday morning. I stare at him in utter shock and confusion (I don’t normally do this but the whole situation has me perplexed.) Now I know what you are picturing. Probably an old jobless poor man with dirty clothes on his way to God knows where. But that is far from the case. The guy is professionally dressed, hair well combed and I can tell he is not doing bad financially on the count of the watch and the phone that he has. Anyway, I snap out of it and continue listening to my podcast.
8:55 AM — I arrived at the office at around 8 (Not bad, but I prefer getting in much earlier so I can do some studying before I start working.) At this point, hunger has started to creep in and I’m starting to get a little grumpy. There is a lady who sells breakfast at the office. I call her the Mandazi lady even though I buy chapos from her. She hasn’t arrived yet so now I am struggling between concentrating on work and looking outside the window to see if she has arrived.
9:30 AM — I rush to the kitchen and buy myself 2 chapatis (each for 30/-) I have always wondered why the chapos are 30 shillings, but in all honesty, this is the cheapest option around my office. I proceed to have breakfast as I chat to one of my friends at the office
4:45 PM — The day has been hectic but very productive. As a personal choice, I always choose to skip lunch (I have never been into lunch and I usually survive just fine.) However, on this particular day, I am starting to run low on energy. I walk outside the office hopeful that I will get a matatu to town. Either that, or I will have to walk for 20 minutes to catch a jav.
5:13 PM — Luck isn’t on my side, so I had to walk to the nearest stage which is around 20 minutes away. I board a jav for 40/- to town. One other thing about skipping lunch (if you skip lunch kindly attest to this) is the fact that when the hunger kicks in you start getting all sorts of cravings so this starts happening to me. “Rice beef? Fries and beef? Some nice matumbo maybe? Peanuts? Wait, why I’m I craving peanuts at this hour?” Anyway, I put some music on, log in to my daily therapy (Twitter) and proceed home.
P.S: If you hate matumbo we just can’t be friends
6:55 PM — I finally get home. The transit from town to home cost me 70/- At this point I am running on fumes. I have to cross a footbridge to get to the other side so I can buy food. I stare at the footbridge for a bit and wonder why someone hasn’t invented something that is faster and more convenient.
7:13 PM — I decide to buy rice and beef at my favourite hotel. That cost me 190/- “Will I be over budget if I purchase an avocado too? And why I’m I all of a sudden craving milk” As I walk to my house it dawns on me that I had a really productive day so wth, I buy the avocado for 30/- and buy some milk for 50/- (I have been in loving relationship with Milk for the longest time)
9:22 PM — I finished my supper a while back. I instantly switched off my phone when I got home to disconnect so I can recharge for tomorrow. I also used the time to catch up on one my favourite TV shows, Euphoria. (Zendaya is amazing. Go watch this.)
I set my alarm for the next day, create a brief to do list that I will work on tomorrow and turn in.
Amount spent — 570/-
Budget — 430
3:17 AM — This is like the 4th time I have woken up tonight. This night has been suspiciously long and I am starting to wonder if I overslept. I decide to open my phone to check the time and if my alarm is on. A move I will regret for the rest of the day.
3:33 AM — I have been on Twitter for a couple of minutes now, despite knowing that I might struggle getting up. Insomnia is probably a devil’s curse to humanity for banishing him to hell. I decide to put the phone away and force myself to sleep.
5:25 AM — Here goes my loud alarm again. I weirdly don’t struggle to wake up so I get up and prepare to get to work.
6:13 AM — I board an 80/- matatu to town. “Transit costs are going to be the end of me” I tell myself. Today I decide to listen to a different podcast. The ‘Marketing School.’ I really love this podcast because they squeeze so much value into a 6–8 minute podcast. I burn through a lot of these before I get to town. Later I board another matatu to the office for 50/-
8:47: Hunger starts to creep in. Luckily, the Mandazi lady is early today. As usual, I purchase 2 chapos (Each 30 bob) and decide to have them a little later after everyone has cleared the kitchen (Sometimes my introvert side shows, don’t judge me.)
11:02 AM — I have been buried in work and didn’t notice the time fly by. The second I notice the time I instantly feel hungry (Don’t you hate when this happens?) I am so hungry in fact I start wishing that I had ordered an extra chapati.
“I’m a born survivor” I tell myself as I head over to the kitchen. I smile instantly when I get there as the room is empty. I warm my tea and start digging in.
11:03 AM — The second I unwrap the chapatis I realise how thin they are. Shock kicks in. How dare someone sell me this tissue thin chapati for 30 bob. Capitalism!!!! See if we had at least 2 or 3 mandazi ladies, this lady wouldn’t be exploiting us as she does. I feel so pissed but at the same time, I don’t have any other option so I just choose to let it go.
11:07 AM — 4 minutes later I am done with breakfast. As a slow eater I normally have my breakfast for around 10–15 minutes, so you can just imagine how disrespectful these chapatis were. Now I am pissed again and start wondering if there could be better breakfast options. Anyway I get back to work and vow to never buy anything from the mandazi lady again.
5:07 PM — I have had a very long afternoon. Not only have I been hungry since the second I had breakfast, but I have had to wash my face at least 5 times, which is something I haven’t done since probably highschool. I take my usual 20 minute walk to the stage and board a matatu for 40/-
8:13 PM — I got home at 7:15 after boarding a 70 bob matatu home. Upon getting home, I get decision paralysis trying to figure out what to have for supper. “Should I have rice beef again? Wait..I have never tried ugali beef. Noo, maybe fries and fish. #sigh This is frustrating.”
I lay on the couch for 15 minutes fighting all these options and cravings trying to decide on one (P.S I go through this almost every other meal time. If you have a solution for this kindly comment below)
8:15 PM — I decide to walk to the hotel and let the Universe decide for me as I walk there (This is what we call giving up and letting Jesus take the wheel.) On the way, I figure that my mum could maybe help me decide. Besides, I haven’t talked to her for more than a week, this could be a great way to break the ice.
8:18 PM — I call my mum. She is happy that I thought of her and decided to call her. She asks what I am upto and I am so glad she asked because I wouldn’t know how to bring this up on a normal basis. “I’m on my way to get supper but I actually haven’t decided on what to have.” As soon as I tell her that, she goes off and starts lecturing me. My mum has never been a fan of hotel food. How could I forget that? She condescendingly tells me that I am lazy because I usually get home but never make time to cook. I try explaining that I leave home early and get back too tired to cook. She’s not hearing any of that.
8:23 PM — Mum still lecturing me.
8:29 — She finally concludes by saying that this is my life and that I can do and eat whatever I would like. “Wow” I think to myself. I proceed to the counter and unapologetically buy Rice and Matumbo for 150/- then head over home to watch the season finale of Euphoria as I have my supper
Amount spent — 450/-
Budget — 430
5:25 AM — Alarm rings. I don’t need this kind of aggressiveness today so I snooze
5:35 AM — The alarm rings again and before I snooze it again, I remember that there’s a piece I need to read before work. I prepare myself, finish up and as I walk to the stage, I remember the thievery that was my chapatis yesterday. I decide to buy bread to consume it at the office.
7:37 AM- I arrive at the office after boarding a 70 bob matatu to town and a 50 bob matatu to the office. I am feeling rather fresh today So I decide to do some quick reading then start on the “Heavy” work
8:56 AM — The mandazi lady comes to the office to ask if she should bring me the usual. I chuckle and politely tell her that I am okay. I actually couldn’t be more okay because I have legit missed having bread.
I start recalling all the good times I had taking bread. Highschool. I remember how we would consume half a loaf of bread every break time to avoid the lunch time githeri that tasted like depression. Good times.
9:55 AM — It’s time for my breakfast. I take my loaf of bread, start spreading and instantly it dawns on me, “What’s an acceptable number of slices to take?” See I am used to having 7 slices but something tells me that’s not “acceptable” here. I become a little nervous and decide to ask my co-worker. She laughs and tells me that 3–4 slices is acceptable. “3 SLICES!? What is this prison?”
Unhappy with the decision and that I let shame push me to this, I spread 4 slices and proceed to have breakfast.
5:32 PM — I left the office about 25 minutes ago and boarded a 40 bob matatu to town. On the way to town I realise that I have really been disciplined with my budget so far (Apart from Monday, but one time can’t affect the whole budget right?) Deep down I know I am having these thoughts because I have an expensive craving today. I smile a little and decide to spoil myself.
5:57 PM — I get to town and start walking to Greenview. Those guys make the BEST fish fingers in town and I couldn’t be happier with my decision. However, minutes before I get there I start second guessing. “Why I’m I making such an impulse purchase? Will I regret this in the long run?” I take a deep breath and convince myself that I could use a treat. Besides, It’s been a really long year and spoiling myself once or twice wouldn’t hurt, even though I know I will really be over budget.
6:01 PM — I literally stop walking to analyse this decision. I am really on the fence now and my decision paralysis has started to kick in. “Could I do better for that amount? Should I save up and spoil myself with something else instead? Maybe alcohol on the weekend?” Dang, I really wish I had someone in my life to help me make these decisions but I slowly but unwillingly start heading to the stage.
6:15 PM — I purchase the fish fingers for 320/- and head home (My cravings won, don’t judge me)
10:02 PM — I just finished my insanely finger licking supper. On my way home, I took a 70/- bob jav and for absolutely no reason, no reason at all, I decided to buy 50/- milk to wash down my supper.
The supper was great but my rational side starts to take over. I start to regret my decision but I decide to sleep it off. Besides, Twitter has taught me that we are all here for a good life, not a long one (I personally don’t endorse this advice but sometimes, it is what it is)
Amount spent — 580/-
Budget — 430
5:25 AM — My alarm rings. As usual I try to snooze it but last night’s guilt starts to build up which makes me lose sleep.
As I prepare for work, I listen to YG to distract myself (Nothing to make you care less like gangster hiphop) Before I know it, I am already dancing and jamming hard to his hits at 5:35 in the morning.
6:31AM — I love Thursdays. I always have. It’s the only day of the week that I am always so energetic, so happy and almost everything goes my way.
I leave the house, still jamming and head over to board a matatu to town for 80/- On the way I listen to my favorite podcast (hands down), The Ron Burgundy Podcast.
Later I board a matatu to the office for 50/-
4:22 PM — Today I will be doing 2 new things. First I need to shoot a campaign awareness video for something we are doing at work. This may seem like an easy thing but for a photophob who has shreds of OCD and doses of being a perfectionist, this is the hardest thing I have had to do all month.
First take… Terrible
Second take… Terrible
Sixth take — Slightly better
Ninth take — …
I take a deep sigh and in a moment of despair, I ask my co-worker to do it instead. She refuses and proceeds with her work. “How rude,” I think to myself as I open the camera again to continue doing the most ghetto thing ever.
5:14 PM — I arrive at fancy golf club for a Quiznight. The place is so beautiful. Fresh air. Green grass. Everything looks fancy.
We took an Uber here (my colleague and I) that cost 520, so 260 each.
5:17 PM — I continue shooting the video
5:47 PM — I proceed to the men’s room and on the way, a waiter literally runs towards me as if I had stolen something at the hotel. He pulls me out of the reception area and says “Hi Sir. You need to tuck in your shirt.” I’m like “are you serious?” He’s like “Yeah”
Growing up I have always hated to tuck in my shirt, unless its in a really formal setting. Like an interview. Or meeting your boss for the first time. So this makes me feel so uneasy but since I do not like confrontation, I swallow my pride and tuck my shirt in.
5:57 PM — On the way back to my seat, I have already bumped into 2 people with their shirts not tucked in. I look at the waiter as he watches each one after the other pass by him and he didn’t seem to run at either to give them any instructions. They were white however, so…
6:25 PM — I finally finish shooting the video. I am happy with my (I think 17th take) so I proceed and post it.
7:17 PM — The quiz night begins. This is the first time I have had to do something completely new in a long time. My heart starts racing out of nervousness and excitement at the same time. I need a drink. I do however remember that I have been over budget twice already and I am so sure that if I order one drink, I will want a couple more later. I promise myself not to drink at all. Besides, my bosses are here and seeing that I become too wild after a couple of shots, I double promise (Is this grammatically correct?) myself that I sure as hell won’t drink.
9:17 PM — Quiz night just ended. We are waiting for the results now. If you win any price you get a free bottle of whiskey. Now I know I promised myself not to drink but good God I could use a drink right about now.
9:23 PM — Almost out of sheer luck, my team wins the prize for the most creative name (We sucked at everything else. As a matter of fact, I think we were the 2nd last team) We walk to the podium as I think to myself how the devil works 24/7. As I walk to get the prize, I lock eyes with my boss. “Wow, this night could go from 0 to 100 real quick. If I don’t watch out I could be at my bosses table asking them to sing along to “parte after parte” as I try to force whiskey shots down their throats.”
10:23 PM — I have had 6 dry shots so far. For some weird reason I can’t stop smiling. The music in the background is so good I can’t stop moving my feet as I fight myself not to get carried away by the music. I look over at my bosses table. They are having wine. Maybe if I get too wild and let myself go they won’t remember it all in the morning. But who I’m I kidding?
10:37 PM — I have taken a couple more shots. At this point I have lost count of the total number of shots I have taken so far. This place is starting to feel really hot. “Jesus, should I take my shirt off? No” I decide to walk out for some fresh air but, since I begun drinking I haven’t stood up once. If you take alcohol, you know how dangerous this could be. I may stand up and fall right on the table destroying everything thus make a huge mess.
I take a deep breath, clench my fist, and head outside.
12:02 AM — I got home a few minutes ago. My amazing boss paid for my uber. I am surprised I am still standing. I can’t believe I have to go to work tomorrow. One thing I hate about drinking is the fact that I get insane smokie cravings. The smokie pasua joint at home is still open so I head over and order 4 smokies which I devour on the spot. (One cost 25/-)
12:14 AM — I head back for 2 more smokies, take a shower, then sleep.
Amount spent — 540/-
Budget — 430
7:07 PM — Today was a slow day as you can assume. I spent the normal amount (fare to town 70/- Fare to the office 50/- and Fare back a total of 110/-)
I am feeling so down today but I am sure of what I would love to have for supper. Something greasy and fatty. I purchase fries and beef for 240/- and head over home.
Amount spent — 470
Budget — 430
6:30 PM — Believe it or not, my alarm goes off. I have work today. A sales job. I actually really love selling. I am also feeling rather fresh today so I can’t wait to go out there and kill it.
9:03 PM — I arrive at my bosses place, I took an 80 bob jav to town, a 50 bob mat to this neighbourhood, and a 50 bob bike to get to this place. I trying knocking at the gate but nobody hears me. All of a sudden, I see about 7 puppies running towards me. Now I don’t know where you stand on having dogs, but I have insane fear towards these beasts. Puppy or not, these little monsters have teeth that will bite deep into your flesh.
I call somebody and ask if the puppies are friendly (I have been called sissy more than once before so I wouldn’t be surprised if you are thinking this.) She says that the puppies are friendly. I hang up and still scared for my life, I match on to grab merchandise for the market I’ll be attending.
5:15 PM — As usual I had so much fun selling. People were nice, apart from one lady who had an attitude for no reason at all. I uber the stuff back (my boss covers these costs) and then proceed home.
6:33 PM — I made some money today so I am in the mood to spoil myself. As a matter of fact, I feel like I can buy whatever I want today. I pass by a butchery and my oh my, their nyama choma smells really nice. Seeing that I can do whatever I want today, or so I think, I proceed to buy a quarter of the nyama choma (150/-) I also buy 3 smokies (75/-) plus ugali and cabbage (80/-)
Amount spent — 545
Budget — 430
7:43 PM — I am just from storming off from a Man United game but I had rather not speak about that. During the day I only bought 2 chapatis (40/-) One beer (200/-) and rice matumbo for supper (150/-)
Amount spent — 390/-