A new school year for your child with an IEP.

I cannot believe that my kids are starting school and the summer went super fast. My youngest daughter Isabella will be starting Kindergarten tomorrow. The bus will pick her up, and she told me yesterday that when she gets on the bus, she will not cry. I praised her attitude and reminded her that she would have so much fun with her friends.
Today was meet the teacher kind of day. So I went for an hour with her. I waited in the cafeteria with the other parents. I was happy to see the parents since our children were in preschool together. There was two Pre-K class last year, but you get to know all the kids and parents as we will play for a few minutes at the end of their school day at the school’s playground. There was always the time to chat and share with other parents.
I did not have the same experience with my oldest daughter who also started school today, and this will be her last year of High School. When I began to think about how different my experience was with my oldest daughter, a lot of sad memories came to my mind. My oldest daughter was not only transitioning from Early Intervention, but she also was entering into an Inclusion setting. There were two teachers, one Regular Ed, and one Special Ed. She also received related services. Not only I was a single mom but also going through child custody. It was like a tornado season for me. It was not an easy time and is not an easy time for a parent whose child is receiving “special services” at school because they are not like the rest of their peers.
I remember when the bus came to pick her up. We both cried, and it was the hardest separation time. She was already on a roller coaster in her own home as she had two houses after she was 11 months old and now going into another one because a school setting is like their home. So imagine how it is to have three houses. Just thinking about it I get overwhelmed. I tried my best to detach myself a bit and be more pro-active about our goals.
So the best advise I can give to parents is to communicate with your child’s teachers and therapists regularly. In the beginning, some of the teachers were a bit defensive. I think because they were young and did not have much experience. Also, when we have a child who requires services; we read a lot, and we become more informed about resources and what we think is appropriate (not best) for our children.
I had a book of communication, so I knew what happened during her school time and her therapists were very helpful as they wanted me to stay involved during this process. If you don’t have a communication book and not listed in your child’s IEP, call the district and ask to reconvene so you can add a communication book that will travel between the school and the home. Or to make it easy, speak to the person in charge of special services to reconvene and add this to your IEP if they refuse to keep communication between the school and home.
You don’t want to call the teacher every day, and this is a way to maintain good communication between the school and home. I also wanted to build trust and a relationship. You cannot have a good relationship with anyone unless is based on trust. One piece of advice is to connect with the teacher emotionally. They are humans, and they get yelled sometimes by parents. I noted that I mention the word ‘relationship’ twice because they are the core of what we do every day.
Yes, I will admit that during that time I felt uncertain about our future. The human in me had a lot of doubts. Somehow after a little prayer, I will get up strong and determined to help during my daughter’s journey. It was not only her goals that we needed to reach but our goals as a team.
For those who are concern about your child’s school year, please don’t be. One thing I learned throughout these years was that it takes a very special person to work with those children who require support in the classroom. I want you to be optimistic as it was a skill I needed it during that time and helped me a lot to stay focus during this process.
I prayed to God every night as I felt it was the only one who understood the desires of my heart. I got tired of asking as I thought I need it to do more. I needed to be more proactive and advocate for my daughter. I needed to let go and let the school staff do their job while I will take over my part after she arrived from her third home. Have a successful school year and may you embrace every challenge as an opportunity.
