I’ve also learned, the hard way, that the abused are often the biggest defenders of the abusers. In the case of one set of accusations towards someone in the community, I had someone insisting, repeatedly, that the accused couldn’t be the problem, even as I kept inadvertently stumbling into people who’d been abused by the accuser. It was a bit of a shock to me, but knowing that now I’ve become mindful of how abuse affects people so I can have more empathy for them.
My 2017
Dylan Wilbanks

“Between #metoo and Black Lives Matter, I’ve felt driven to learn how to listen better…”

There’s work to be done to address issues, instead of blaming in back channels. Fixing communication issues seems a productive way to address some of these issues. Perception is absolutely valid, intent is important, too.

The difference between accidentally crossing boundaries and maliciously sabotaging careers as retribution for not complying with a perp is HUGE

I want to address problems, not back channel burn people.