What Makes Us Human?
For the first time in my life I’m truly and honestly unhappy with my life and where it’s lead me. I’ve always been a happy child, a happy person, smiling, laughing and nothing was ever too big of a hurdle — I’d always overcome it with a positive mindset.
But somewhere along the line life happens, we grow up and shit gets real. Fast! In the last couple of weeks I’ve been hearing that what I’m feeling is normal. Heartbreak is a feeling, angst is a feeling, hurt is a feeling, pain is a different feelings, longing is a feeling too and all these things are human. Human they said.
But what makes us human? Mr. W had shared a video of Panti, a famous drag queen in a very cold country. I had watched it on his Facebook profile and she said a few things that hit home. But there was more… Panti had been at TEDx.
Panti had described the many things that make us human, but at that moment when she described how she had to ‘check’ herself I realized it was the small things that mattered the most.
It is the small things that makes us human.
There are lots of small things that make us human. My dinners are vile, yet Mr. W only ever wanted to have my dinner with a single candle lit at the dinner table. The small things…
I had realized that this is what I miss about Mr. W — all the small things he had done for us, our relationship and most importantly to me.
He would walk by and slap my bum. I would stand in a crowd of people, and we would make eye contact, he would give me a quick wink and in that moment I felt like I was the only person in the room. He would hold my hand when we watched TV at night. He would put his hand on my leg while we drove in the car. He would look at me and tell me I’m beautiful (and although I didn’t like him calling me that, it was my own issues). Mr. W had done so many small things day in and day out.
Although I had appreciated the small things tremendously, I had a bigger picture in mind. I would look at us together years and years from now and see a life that we lived together. I would know that the cut on his arm would be, the scar on his knee cap, the wrinkles around his eyes from the many laughs and the tears that I caught.
It’s the small things that make us human. Appreciate them.
I love you against all reason, against promise, against hope and peace, against happiness, against sadness and against all discouragement that could be.