Why Self-Confidence Is Killing You

Why do we worry about what others think of us? We try so hard to impress each other but yet, we’re not happy with ourselves. Self-confidence is the belief in yourself, to be happy with your physical, emotional, and mental qualities.

I lacked self-confidence growing up. This stemmed from my external environment. I was known as the “chubby” kid. I ate junk food because I thought that was normal. As I grew older, I realized I needed to be “skinny”. With the media and living in San Diego portraying six pack abs and muscles, I lacked the confidence I had with my body.

I became fit in high school by going on a diet and exercising frequently. I realized after losing 30 pounds, I was still the same person regardless of what others thought. I learned a few things: I need to work on my mindset, I need to surround myself with supportive people, and no matter your environment or circumstances, stay focused on being the best you can be.

With my mindset, I was always focused on others. I was so caught up in what others thought of me that I didn’t give myself a chance to think positively about myself. We tend to have preconceived notions that someone is judging us. The reality is, those are thoughts and ideas we are making up. I started shifting my mindset to a reflection of myself. I reminded myself every day to be happy because ultimately the only person you should impress is yourself.

Jim Rohn once said, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If you spend the most time with five negative people, guess what? You’ll be the sixth. You will complain about others, you will complain about yourself. I now surround myself with people who are further along on their entrepreneurial journey because they not only motivate me to be more successful, they encourage and support everything I do. When we get together, we complement each other and help any way we can. Surround yourself with people who are going to make you confident.

Stay focused on being the best you can be — do not become a product of your environment. Growing up in the ghetto, I was destined to be a part of the gang life. My brother, cousins, and friends were a part of it so it meant I was next. I chose not to be involved with drugs and violence at such a young age because it wasn’t worth it to me. Going through everything I went through, I realized there was nothing positive about this life. Outside of school, I spent my free time playing sports and playing video games. This, of course, led to playing video games all the time which led to me being chubby. It’s interesting how everything went full circle.

Gaining self-confidence is broken down into the following:

  • Better your mindset
  • Surround yourself with positive and supportive people (this means getting rid of all the rotten apples in your life no matter how close they are to you)
  • Focus on being the best version of yourself. Put yourself in an environment that encourages growth and confidence (ie, only purchase healthy foods, break away from toxic neighborhoods or people, and engage in activities that stimulate growth)

What are you going to do to gain self-confidence?