How to Handle Parents Who Think Mental Illness is Fake
You just need to get over it. Stop. Stop it!
Imagine, if you will, a young girl sitting in church, her leg bouncing up and down like a frantic chihuahua.
Her mother snaps at her to stop it — can’t she just stop it?
No, the girl thinks, because it happens to be a nervous tic borne from the stress and anxiety of sibling bullying.
I can’t just stop it.
Don’t you understand?
Unfortunately a lot of people don’t seem to think that mental illnesses are real.
It’s even worse when those people are your parents.
They’d rather believe those who suffer from problems like anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder are just weak-minded people who make up excuses.
It sucks.
And they have their reasons.
Their generation — the baby boomers and earlier — grew up during a time of greatly stigmatized mental illness.
Theirs was a time when even being gay got you in serious legal trouble.
Insane asylums were a thing and the shame of being sent to one had the potential to socially ruin families.
Those values linger to this day.
Culture also plays a part. In some cultures they really don’t believe mental health is real. That those with mental illnesses are faking it.
So what do you do if you have a parent like that?
First of all, if you need mental help from a therapist or psychiatrist and your parent is preventing you from getting that help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1–800–273–8255.
The worst I got was invalidation of my feelings, which is still a big deal.
Being told that what I’m feeling isn’t real was a surefire way to make my existing mental problems worse.
Being told that I shouldn’t be exhibiting those nervous tics when the trigger wasn’t around was a laughable notion I couldn’t believe my parents didn’t also find ironic.
It took me a long time, but once I established boundaries, the invalidations stopped, mostly because I’ll walk out if it happens again.
That’s the trick.
Boundaries govern your reactions, not the other person’s. When it comes to parents who don’t believe mental illnesses are real, you’re not going to fix it by forcing them to change their minds.
The change starts with you — by making it clear to your parents that you’ll be leaving (assuming you can leave) if they say you’re making it up again.
