Manifest Destiny for the 21st Century
The new frontier is in the realm of relationships. The challenges of the 21st century will be overcome by people who will no longer contend with each other to maintain old grievances, but focus instead on self-transformation. Refusing to claim their rights as victims in the blame and shame game, the new pioneers will take responsibility for healing our world by focusing on interactions that reveal the strengths in each other, and settle their family feuds.
The spiritual dimension in relationships has been denied by aggressive masculine positivists, and subsequently ignored by passive feminine paradigms of social science research.
Our institutions of education are like factories producing research that focuses on people’s lived experience without an ethical framework for ensuring that the research is not contributing to the problem it seeks to understand.
The toxic waste resulting from research that problematizes what previous generations would have no patience for is being emptied into our families like a river of fire. When factories do not operate within a framework that contributes to the public good, the idea that fathers have to do something to secure a space where families will be safe from harm is both justified and inevitable, like the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency.
That is how the West was won. The doctrine of Manifest Destiny assumed the expansion of White settlements from sea to shining sea was both justified and inevitable. While White women supported this style of taking over everything, White men represent the way we roll, Western civilization-style. Take no prisoners, just take everything. We call this system the patriarchy.
The big idea is that men who held power are responsible for the destruction of native cultures, the environment, and the continuing problem of racism in our country.
Holding men responsible for what men have done can be an intoxicating idea for the brain of anyone who has experienced injustice. Anyone can get high on the hope that the bad guys are going to pay for what they have done, because we have all had experiences with injustice. We have all had experiences of being marginalized or othered.
The problem with becoming intoxicated is the suspension of critical judgment that comes with the feeling of euphoria. The association of toxicity with masculinity is passed around in social circles so casually, it can be surprising to realize how easy it is, and how commonplace to become intoxicated with the idea of toxic masculinity.
We are all vulnerable to lapses in consciousness that result from a righteous hit of toxic masculinity as an idea in its pure form. If you try it, you might like it. It sure feels better than taking responsibility for your own independent idea of masculinity, and living with the awareness that you are an expendable soldier in the war for the real man.
You may have heard a story of a dad catching one of the kids in your family smoking a cigarette, and making them smoke the whole pack to teach them a lesson. The version of the story I heard is the kid got so sick they never smoked again. Something like that has happened to me.
I thought it would be like I was one of the cool kids. But after I got caught with a half baked idea of toxic masculinity when I was trying to figure out what it means to be a father for my family, I don’t think toxic masculinity is so cool anymore.
Notice what happens to your body when you experience feelings of injustice, or when you imagine that you are being blamed for a problem that was here before you, or that you have been trying to solve in your own way. Observe the tension in your body, your pulse rate, breathing, and perspiration when you imagine yourself or anyone else being marginalized, left out, or othered.
Recognize your aggressive masculine energy has a spiritual dimension that serves a purpose for the whole human family. Ask yourself how you might be able to use passive feminine energy to maintain relationships without becoming intoxicated with the idea that you are separate from the problem.
Respond by dealing with toxic waste without complaint. Accept the risk to your life to protect others. Everybody needs help sometimes. People have toxic ideas they don’t know how to be responsible for. Help them. Accept responsibility for polluted ideas of masculinity on behalf of your ancestors. They did the best they could, and made mistakes. You are here to take it to the next level.
