Travelling As A Single Middle-Aged Woman, Part 2: How I Survived
Whilst most people have been restricted over the last few years, bound to home and desperate to travel, I have seen a lot of the world. Maybe my choices were irresponsible considering the global pandemic, but visas are visas and they come with a time limit, even during an outbreak!
As a digital nomad this means constant movement, and although seeing the world is an amazing feat, the lack of stability can be exhausting for a middle-aged woman on a limited income.
Let’s pick up where we left off from part 1. After arriving in Cancún I felt a little lighter and threw myself back into my writing, completing the final edit of my book. I registered the domain, bought a hosting package, created the website and social media accounts, uploaded the final manuscript to a digital platform with a scheduled release, and designed the countdown graphics to the launch.
Now that the book was well on its way to being out there in the un-e-verse, I needed some company.
I had joined a couple of Cancún expat online groups, and whilst they were great at commenting and offering recommendations electronically, I found them to be rather distant and unwilling to meet in person. Now, I acquiesce that this may be unfair on my part considering that we were still in a pandemic and the Delta variant was snaking its way through communities, but nevertheless, it made me feel that the city may not be the best place to make friends.
Vaccines were rolling out everywhere, people were beginning to relax, and I headed down to Playa Del Carmen which seemed to be a more inclusive and friendlier environment, at least that’s what the online communities said.
Within thirty minutes of arriving in the city and with the help of my Airbnb host, I managed to get my first dose of the AstraZeneca vaccine. I was absolutely ecstatic as I was now to be one step further towards returning to Canada.
I also managed, however, to get Covid within my first few days in Playa, so there may have been some merit in the withdrawn nature of the expats in Cancún. With high temperatures, an almost constant headache, lower back pain, and high levels of fatigue, I fought through the virus alone, staying true to my teaching schedule.
Thankfully my breathing was fine but the rent needed to be paid whether I was well or ill, so I soldiered on.
I made a few friends in Playa Del Carmen by going to the Tuesday trivia nights at a local restaurant, as well as attending a couple of get togethers that the local lesbian group had organized, and was beginning to have some fun.
Despite this, my desire to return home never waivered, and within hours of the second dose of AstraZeneca being injected into my left tricep, I had booked my ticket home to London, Ontario. My little basement apartment was still available and I threw my arms around my housemate when his lovely little red VW pulled into a pickup bay at the airport, chauffeuring me to the only home I had known in many years.
Unfortunately, I had burned through quite a bit of my savings travelling to Mexico then to Canada, and as I paid my first month’s rent in advance, the visa clock began ticking once more.
From the time I had touched down in Toronto, the six-month time limit had been activated and I started running through my options on how to stay. By this point I was craving stability more than I ever had before in my forty-eight years.
I have spent most of my adult life living on a budget and from paycheck to paycheck. Even if you are earning just enough to survive, when you are settled in one place with a stable income, managing your expenses is doable as you eke through each month. Whilst you may not be able to spend money on things you would like, clothes, entertainment, eating out, etc., you can survive.
When you have to move constantly, however, your meagre earnings become strained as you incur additional expenses: travel costs, visa costs, storage costs, setup costs. Food, condiments, hygiene, and cleaning products often have to be left behind only to be bought again at your next destination. I can’t begin to tell you how much stuff I have given away only to purchase the same a few days or weeks later; olive oil, spices, and grains being amongst the most common.
After buying a few yoga mats, I gave up and now just do yoga on a towel or the carpet!
On the flip side, I don’t have rent to keep paying “back home” as I travel, or insurance costs for vehicles or contents left behind. There is very little that restricts me and I spend what I earn where I am. I should also mention that I haven’t had health insurance or access to a public health system for five years, and at almost fifty this is an area of great concern for me.
So how do I survive?
As an online job does not comply with permanent residency requirements in most countries, there are no options for me but to keep moving. I need to add a disclaimer here: I can legally live and work in Australia, New Zealand, the UK, and South Africa, so why don’t I just choose one of those countries? The answer is simple: I don’t want to.
There is a sense of belonging that I feel in Canada and is why I keep soldiering on to make it my permanent home. I feel at peace there.
Whilst teaching online keeps me going, it is very restrictive. The guidelines state that you must be in a quiet place with a neutral background and the application pulls data like an ox on steroids so the internet connection must be strong. I have to ask potential hosts to test their internet connection or furnish me with their broadband speed before I book as a slow connection causes major issues and disruptions to my teaching schedule.
Teaching sessions need to be prearranged and my schedule must be opened in advance for students to make reservations, so I must plan when to teach. Therefore, when moving between countries and cities, I cannot earn money as I can’t work just anywhere as many digital nomads do. Earning money under these circumstances is far more difficult and when combined with the low rate that online ESL teachers generally get, the additional costs of travel can cause restless nights.
Now that we have established the restrictions of my travel, both physical and financial, let’s look at how I make it work.
One of the most expensive costs when travelling is accommodation and the cheapest way to overcome this is to stay in a place for at least a month. I use Airbnb to find my accommodation, and yes, there are service fees and cleaning charges involved, but the rates can be very good if you find the right host.
They are convenient as all power, water, and internet are usually included, and they are flexible. In most places, you get a weekly or a monthly discount for staying longer, and as the monthly discounts can be quite significant, they reduce my accommodation costs considerably. The only negative aspect of doing this is that you are committed to a particular city for a month.
If your visitor’s visa is three months as most country’s visas are, you can only stay in three places during this time.
If you plan well, you can make this work. For example, spending a month in Istanbul was easy as there is so much to see, and as I’m working four days a week at the moment, it left two days for sightseeing and one to dedicate to my writing and content creation.
I chose Izmir as my second city as there is also a lot to see there, both within the city and on the outskirts. It came highly recommended from the locals and the weather is perfect. In both cities I reserved a room in someone’s apartment, and whilst this means that I don’t have the place to myself, I was able to save money and had access to local advice 24/7.
In my third month in Turkey, I moved around a little more to see some of the sites that I went to see: the beaches in Fethiye, the beauty of Cappadocia, friends in Ankara, and then back to Istanbul to visit what I missed in the first month.
The benefits of travelling are priceless, but travelling on a dime calls for a little creative planning.
I have learned to travel like the locals by listening to the advice willingly given from friends and strangers alike, and have seen things that many tourists have not.
Another cost saver as you travel is to buy a SIM card wherever you go.
I’m sure that you have a number in your home country which has been yours for years, and keeping the same number for applications like WhatsApp is important. Although most people living in Canada, the US, Australia, and New Zealand don’t utilize this app due to affordable texting plans, all of my friends in Costa Rica, Mexico, South Africa, and Turkey use it exclusively, and it is often the only way to communicate with others when you are in these countries.
My mobile phone provider in Canada allows users to “park” their number for a small fee whilst travelling which enables me to keep it active. Using roaming would bankrupt me in less than a week as international roaming charges are horrendous. Buying a SIM card and some prepaid data as I travel ensures that I can access Google Maps (another vital travelling service) and keeps me connected in case I run into any trouble.
Making local friends has aided me in experiencing things that I couldn’t as a tourist like being taken to a family farm in Cartago, Costa Rica for a family gathering. Only three people out of sixteen spoke English, but seeing how they cooked, what they cooked, what they served when, and how they interacted as a family was a great experience for me.
You spend a lot of time watching body language when you don’t understand what is being said, and sometimes you learn more about a family dynamic this way.
I was invited to an iftar dinner in Turkey, which is the meal that breaks the fast at the end of each day during the Islamic month of Ramadan. I had a Turkish breakfast in someone’s home, sat on the banks of the Aegean Sea on the Alsancak Çimler drinking beer before heading to a local restaurant to eat meze and drink Rakı. As none of the waiters spoke English, I can only assume that the restaurant is a favourite place for locals, and it is where I learned the two different ways to drink Rakı.
Locals are only too happy to tell you about things that are not in the guide books, the quiet little secrets of the area or the best places for certain types of foods. You learn how to pronounce names of people and places correctly which I believe is incredibly important.
You learn the most appropriate way to ask for things — translation apps and websites give you official translations but local customs may be different. Learning to order something might require different expressions in different countries and different cultures. One of the apps that I use to learn the basics of any language was teaching me things that my Turkish friend told me they never use in Turkey, so she gave me the correct colloquialisms.
Making friends before you travel can be one of your greatest assets. Online expat groups are abundant and many of them insist on all posts to be written in English which is great for us native speakers. People in these groups can offer a wealth of knowledge and some are only too happy to hang out with you when you arrive and show you the ropes. These helpful individuals will lead you to the local private groups as well as others that you haven’t thought to search for, including events that you can attend to meet more people.
Having a niche community is also helpful — as I’m gay, I usually look for online gay groups when I travel to a new country and they come through most every time. Meetup and Facebook are the two social networking sites where I have had much of my success in meeting new people and making friends.
One of the best things that I have noticed is that travelling as a middle-aged woman has its benefits.
Most customs officers, passport control officers, and general official clerks don’t bother with me much. I have friends who have been chased down as the border control person asked them for proof of tickets to leave the country, but I have not had to show any documentation of this on my recent travels. Being middle-aged, there is an assumption that you are settled and have a home and family to return to. You become invisible which is a great advantage in international travel, and in those moments when you look confused or lost, there is usually someone who comes to your aid pretty quickly.
The younger generation are watched more closely as they are more likely to do visa runs or overstay, and retired individuals are being targeted especially in Central America as more Americans and Canadians choose to relocate to warmer climates and cheaper countries.
Having to travel due to visa restrictions means that you often move when you don’t want to, usually when you are making some headway and getting ahead financially. Whilst the internet is flooded at the moment with the awesomeness of being a digital nomad, I feel that it’s important to know both sides of the story.
Whilst I wouldn’t give away any of my incredible adventures for the world, there comes a point where stability is craved. I long for a car again — for road trips where I don’t have to haul luggage on and off planes, trains, and buses. I long for a kitchen of my own and for a closet with a range of clothing options instead of living out of a suitcase.
I long for a place where I can rest my weary body, mind, and soul for longer than a few months.
Until then, I’ll keep experiencing what this incredible world has to offer — to infinity and beyond!
