Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher: a handbook for raising a child
by Mantim Innocent Fale
Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher may have been written over a century ago, but its timeless message on the importance of education and character development still holds true today. Even though it has been difficult to substantiate whether or not Abraham Lincoln wrote the letter, it can be seen as a handbook for raising a child, offering valuable insights and lessons for parents and educators alike.
Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, was widely known for his leadership, honesty, and integrity. He was also a devoted father who deeply cared about his children’s education and upbringing. In the late 1800s, Lincoln’s son, Robert, was attending school, and Lincoln wanted to ensure that his son was receiving the best possible education. To this end, Lincoln wrote a letter to Robert’s teacher, which has since become known as “Abraham Lincoln’s Letter to His Son’s Teacher.” It is claimed that the letter was not intended to be a public document, but it was discovered years later and has been widely circulated ever since. In the letter, Lincoln provides guidance to his son’s teacher on how to raise and educate a child. He emphasizes the importance of instilling good values, such as honesty, kindness, and hard work, in children from a young age. He also stresses the importance of allowing children to make mistakes and learn from them rather than sheltering them from failure. Lincoln’s letter has been praised for its timeless wisdom and practical advice on childrearing. It continues to be read and shared by parents, teachers, and educators around the world as a valuable resource for raising children.
The purpose of this article is to provide guidance to parents, teachers, and educators on how to raise and educate children with strong values and character from a young age, encouraging them to learn from their mistakes.
“Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher: a handbook for raising a child” is significant because it serves as a practical resource for parents and teachers looking to raise children who will become responsible, compassionate, and successful adults. It provides insights into Lincoln’s own parenting philosophy and offers valuable advice on how to support children in their academic and personal growth. Additionally, this article offers a glimpse into the character of one of America’s most beloved presidents and underscores the importance he placed on education and the role of teachers in shaping the lives of young people. By sharing his personal insights and experiences, Lincoln’s letter provides a valuable historical perspective on child-rearing and education that is still relevant today.
Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher is considered by many to be a valuable handbook for raising a child because it contains timeless advice that is still relevant today.
The quotes that follow are excerpts from the letter, while the “Bring It Home” section that follows every quote is its explainer.
“He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just; all men are not true; but teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader… Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.”
Bring It Home #1: Abraham Lincoln needed his son to become quite a man. A man who will have faith in people despite their shortcomings, hence emphasizing the usefulness of men, but for their own purpose. Realistically, every man has a conscience that can be good or bad. Now let’s see what our ‘new’ teacher has for us in the next quote.
“It will take time, I know, but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is of far more value than five found… Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning. Steer him away from envy and, if you can, teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Let him learn early that bullies are the easiest to lick. Teach him, if you can, the wonder of a book. But also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hillside.”
Bring It Home #2: Abraham Lincoln needed a hardworking son so much that he stressed the importance of earning a dollar rather than having five on a platter of gold. He understands how well earning will leave his son with the ability to earn, and vice versa. He again surprisingly encouraged his son’s teacher to “teach him to learn to lose… and also to enjoy winning”. Isn’t this paradoxical? No, it isn’t. Abraham Lincoln wants his son to get used to losing, as it’s the likeliest outcome if he tries something new. But if he’s taught to “enjoy winning” too, which is the ultimate reward for trying, then he’ll be motivated to try more. This approach can indeed guarantee more tries, more losses, and more wins. Abraham Lincoln understands that envy doesn’t change anything but would rather make his son lazy, and also that a secret laugh wouldn’t arouse any suspicion or envy. Abraham Lincoln isn’t new to ‘school and bullies’ too, I guess; hence the courage to “lick” them out. He also intended for his son to read ancient wisdom (hidden in books) and to enjoy the freedom of thinking outside the box by simply becoming an introvert. Abraham Lincoln sure loves his son and wants him to learn more. Let’s see what else he expects of him in the next quote.
“In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat… Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong. Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough. Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting on the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to all men. But teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.”
Bring It Home #3: Abraham Lincoln needs the man in his son to be honorable. He also needs him to be confident and original, courageous, a good listener, and have a discerning spirit. Isn’t this fantastic? Abraham Lincoln knew honor so well that he became president. He understands that his son can only be honored if he’s not a cheat. He needs a man who will follow his own ideas through, as it’s the only way he can come up with something that’s both new and original — the now misplaced purpose for schooling. He knows that his son has to have courage and confidence in himself to be unique. He still emphasized that he’s been taught to embrace the good side of criticism and maintain a deafening ear to distractions. Guess what? I’m already feeling like Abraham Lincoln’s son is my son. Let’s see more from our new handbook for raising a child.
“Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad… Teach him that there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness. Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders, but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob. And to stand and fight if he thinks he is right.”
Bring It Home #4: “Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad… Teach him there is no shame in tears.” Wow! Abraham Lincoln loves his son so much and also knows that his son will be hurt someday; hence the need to prescribe the handiest therapy for sadness or risk its side effects, which certainly wouldn’t be a good remark. It’s like saying, ‘try some comedy to make you laugh whenever you’re sad’. He understands that whatever causes sadness and tears has its prize money in sadness and tears, and so Abraham Lincoln would rather have his son laugh or cry while maintaining the right spirit. He encouraged that his son be taught to ridicule people who think he’s in it for the gains, never intending for him to be dazed by ease. (Realistically, sarcasm is a great tool to use if you want to knock off any dissension upon arrival.) Again, Abraham Lincoln would rather have his son sell his strength and intelligence to whoever pays the most but not at all costs. He never wants his son to be caught up in the euphoria of failure or success for long. He even thinks that his son should “stand and fight if he thinks he is right”. Hmm! But seriously, no man who does not recognize his rights has ever been taken seriously. Just one more rule, and we’re ready to raise a child like Abraham Lincoln’s.
“Treat him gently, but do not coddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel. Let him have the courage to be impatient. Let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind. This is a big order, but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow, my son!”
Bring It Home #5: Abraham Lincoln needs his son to be treated with kindness but never overprotected. He needs him to be treated like all the others, devoid of affluence. He needs the kind of son who will be intolerant when things are not working out but who will also endure the huddles that will amount to valor. Abraham Lincoln knows that his son will have to learn to continuously have an elevated belief in himself because, at some point, for whatever reason, he’ll be all to himself. It’s a bad feeling and shouldn’t be replicated by the victim, he thinks. So instead, he’d rather have his son reciprocate by having sublime faith in others, something he’d presumably never enjoy. All of these for a child? Nah! It’s for the man to be.
To really crown it, this piece turns its focus to the concluding line of Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher: “This is a big order, but see what you can do… He is such a fine little fellow, my son!” Abraham Lincoln understands the magnitude of his request but is still insistent that his son’s teacher deliver on the “big order”. All along, he used words and phrases like ‘he’ll have to learn’, ‘it will take time’, ‘try’, ‘if you can’, and so on to emphasize how important it is that his son be subjected to these manhood rubrics because being a man entails all that and more.
In closing, Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher is a remarkable document that offers a wealth of advice and guidance for raising children. Lincoln’s insights into education and parenting, as well as his emphasis on fostering good habits and character in children, have stood the test of time and remain relevant today. The letter serves as a testament to Lincoln’s deep commitment to education and his belief in its transformative power. It is a valuable resource for parents, educators, and anyone interested in raising children to become responsible, compassionate, and successful individuals. On the whole, Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s teacher is a timeless handbook for raising a child that reflects Lincoln’s wisdom and insight as a father and educator. It offers practical advice and inspiration for anyone seeking to instill in children a love of learning, good habits, and character.
He also stresses the importance of allowing children to make mistakes and learn from them rather than sheltering them from failure.
