The importance of exploring and understanding oneself
Recently I’ve been reading “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape”.
As the title of the book indicates, this book, explicate how American teenage girls feel about their experience of sexuality in the time when the “hookup culture” is on the rise. Although I think the situation surrounding teenagers in Japan and how they regard sexuality are different from those in the States, point of views the author provides us with are valid also in Japan.
With the advancement of information and communication technologies, it becomes easier for us to acquire sexual knowledge or sexual script from TV and on the Internet. There are, however, limited opportunities to openly discuss our own experiences and awareness of sexuality in a straightforward and constructive manner in the pubic sphere. It might be one of the reasons why some of us feel a kind of shame or embarrassment when faced with that kind of information.
Most people are eager to live a better life, that’s why we at times seriously ponder the future of the world, our own country, our career, etc. Have we discuss our own sexual desire and when we feel good as frequently as those topics? For me the answer is no, but as long as sexual drive is one of the essential drives for humans, it is vital to lead happier life to have a good understanding of it and how to appropriately control it.
I coincide with her point of view on objectification of women and campus rape, that assailants who forced victims to have unwanted sex are responsible for the incidents and that victims are never responsible for assailants’ action. Still, girls have ways to protect themselves from being victimized: To understand what they want, when they feel nice, how to ask for what they want, and say no to what they don’t hope for. At the same time, boys should learn that they get inappropriate sexual script from various media, and that they need to hear and notice what their partner really hope for. On top of that, adults need to build the society where everyone can be more open to their desire and straightforwardly express it to one another.
In terms of the emphasis on the importance of knowing oneself and being assertive about what one wants, this book is not only about sexuality, but lessons of this book can also be applied to broader aspects of life: “It’s all about communication. Keep talking. Keep asking questions. Knowledge is power.”
