Shamanic Sickness in a Society Without Shamans, Part 5

I of ALICE
21 min readJun 29, 2023

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The Road Less Traveled: Navigating the Shamanic Realm in a Modern World

Water Memory, Abstract

Now that we have discussed the three symptom stages of shamanic sickness (physical ailments, perceptual integrations/Psi abilities, and spirit induction), there is one final stage in the cycle: recovery. Now that we discussed those stages we can catch a glimpse into the shaman’s world. Of course. This will vary from one shaman to another. Why? The call may be the same, but the needs of the surrounding lands and people can vary. The practice of shamanism differs significantly in societies like the United States, where individuals who experience shaman sickness often end up alone in their journeys without complementing the process with established rituals and practices. As we will see, this is rectified through the end stage of shamanic sickness. Let’s take a look.

Recovery, Stage 5

The reader may assume that Stage 5 is a typo. There are three symptom stages and one stage of recovery. Before any symptoms appear, remember there must be an initial infection event. In shamanic sickness, this would be “The Calling.”

Symptoms and harassment can persist for a significant amount of time and, to some extent, may never completely disappear. Once an initiate has accepted the path and all necessary modifications have been completed, there is a lull in activity surrounding them. The initiate has become the initiated. They have battled through body pain, bouts of insanity, intense perceptual integrations, and harassment by spirits that shouldn’t exist. Through all this, the initiated has become conditioned in a manner of speaking. Their worldview has increased to include a deeper consideration and connection to nature and a grander phenomenon. They now straddle the stream between the shores of reality and the outer realms. What does this mean and what is next for the initiated?

The Good

This period can be glorious. The initiated regain nights of sleep without visitations from beyond the veil (or through the wall as the case may be), the signs and communications become less intense, and spiritual challenges lessen. The initiated have gained an edge on what to expect and a grasp on the abilities they have acquired. Challenges continue to arise, but they are more often successfully won than not. By now, most, if not all, of the spirits and ancestors that have accosted them are familiar, and those that have remained with the shaman can be interacted with at an expected level. They are now familiar with the shaman, and they know which ones to address for specific purposes and what to expect from them.

During this period, the initiated are compelled to practice their new skills, explore new ideas, and delve into studies to which they are unexpectedly drawn. Acquired as if through gnosis, these studies encompass topics, philosophies, practices, and revelatory information that the initiated are driven to become knowledgeable. They develop an almost, if not truly, obsessive interest in them. These studies complement and complete the initiation process and often seem pre-selected without input from the initiated.

Among the studies are various occult or esoteric modalities and topics. There is a wide range of things to which shamans initiated in this manner are drawn. This includes divination practices, spirit communication, herbology, crystal healing, distance and subtle energy healing, astrology, sacred geometry, representational magic, petitioning magic, meditation, chanting, work in the imaginal realms, astral travel, lucid dreaming, symbology, reading signs, and other practices related to the natural world and the grander perceptual reality. These new interests flesh out how a shaman will use their abilities to heal, identify needs, and commune with the spirits and ancestors. In a society that does not connect with shamanism, it seems this is the best way for the initiated to learn and adopt shamanic practices — to be led through a type of gnosis.

The Bad

This period can still be dangerous. There is a pull and a certain seduction towards the many new abilities that the initiated gain, as well as an endless panorama of newly perceived beings and perceptions, to explore. Not to mention, there is also the study provoked by a new understanding of how reality works. In Hindu practices, as referred to at the beginning of this series, there are the Siddhis. These are abilities that emerge and fade as one delves deeper into meditation practice. As with shiddis (because they are one and the same as shamanic abilities?), there is a temptation to become enamored with these abilities and lose sight. As the teachings state, these abilities must be used responsibly and not given too much attention. It further states that these gifts can go as quickly as they come and that too much focus on them and abuse can actually make them go away. This is also true for those who have been initiated. However, it is not always the case.

Throughout this paper, it has been repeatedly stated that misuse, abuse, and accidental damage have been caused by these abilities. This can cause great guilt and shame for the individual. It can cause psychosis. And if the initiated does not find helping, particularly fun, well…

For some this period of practice and study only leads them further into the outer realms of perception, leaving them increasingly disinterested in the mundane but necessary tasks and duties of base reality. During this time, there is a risk that a person may defect from consensus reality and become unproductive, which can negatively impact their mental and physical health. It is important for the initiated to remain grounded. Grounding may be harder to achieve during acceptance and practice than during actual harassment and development.

Imagine the rather repulsive metaphor of observing animals being administered addictive drugs in a laboratory. Eventually, the animals choose drugs over food and lose their survival instincts. I would say it isn’t as bad as that, but…

The Three Tools of a Shaman

There are three primary abilities, or tools, that are universal to newly initiated individuals: healing, the reading of signs, and spirit contact. These three abilities/tools used by a shaman are essential to their work. A shaman’s primary role is that of a healer, created to serve the community. They are attuned to help create and maintain a natural balance, and to facilitate communication with spirits and ancestors. These primary abilities are what enable the shaman to do so. Let’s take a closer look at each one. These abilities can be expressed in various ways, leading individuals down different paths and enabling them to acquire diverse skills.

Healing, Imaginal Realm, and Tulpamancy

As we know, shamanic sickness typically begins with physical pain and illness. Through this, the shaman learns to heal themselves. As perceptual integrations take place, individuals develop an awareness of subtle energies known as chi, the ether, and more. When this occurs, the initiate “plays” with the energy and learns that it can be manipulated. When experiencing body pain or sickness, they can then perceive a shift in the energy field surrounding their body. They take steps to address this energy, such as removing or adding to it, engaging in mental healing practices, or petitioning for healing through prayer. All are meant for the same purpose.

This is a good spot to point out that there are some arguments about the shaman’s ability to heal themself after initially learning through shamanic sickness. Some believe they can heal themselves as much as they heal others. Others feel they can not. And another camp of individuals feels that they are afflicted with the ailments they attempt to heal others. From what I have gathered, all of these cases are true. It is a question of why. Is it because some shamans believe they shouldn’t heal themselves while others feel it is okay to do so? Could shamans be afflicted due to not properly shielding from a reflective action of the healing? This is a great area to be studied.

Bias

The specific path of healing that a shaman follows is determined by two factors: belief and experience. What this means is that a person who has deep faith in Christianity will assume that any healing they experience is the result of divine intervention or the work of angels. This individual may access their power or the power of other entities to facilitate their own healing. Because of its success, people may naturally assume that the power of healing hands and prayer is what leads to healing. Someone who is already familiar with alternative medicines may come across Reiki as the sole healing method they are aware of and then refer to their gift as such. Finally, one with little spiritual knowledge but a keen mind for the outer limits of science might search for spontaneous healing, science, and possibility. This person may come across the Bengston Method of Healing and decide to explore this approach.

The important thing is that shamanic sickness made the initiated aware of the energy and their ability to heal, but did not give it to them. All people have the ability. The initiation simply increases awareness of it. The different modalities represent various ways of expressing the ability to heal. Notice that bias plays a crucial role in shaping a person’s beliefs and influences how they manage the healing process. This is another difference between shamans in contemporary societies versus those of indigenous tribes. It creates a scattering non-consensus of how or what to call healing and how to use it. If there were a lineage to follow for contemporary shamans being initiated in this manner, there would be less confusion.

Versatility and Utility

So the healing and energy work can be expressed in various ways, including hands-on, hands-above, distance, petitioning (such as prayer and ritual), and representation (such as sigils and the use of symbolic objects). If one is not aware of this fact, they are likely to follow a path of dogma rather than realize that the ability is ubiquitous.

I know I am belaboring this, but it needs to be understood. As a person can heal, so can they injure. One might not realize that their thoughts and visualizations are connected to this ability. This means that whether their emotions are positive or negative, they can influence using their thoughts, especially if they are constantly thinking or fantasizing about certain actions or events. With higher levels of emotions, these thoughts can have an impact on the person, whether it is positive or negative. Another issue, again, is that if a person doesn’t mind harming others develops this ability.

The Imaginal Realm

Something that should have been addressed from the beginning is the Imaginal Realm. This is a term that describes the perceived space in which a person accesses, manipulates, and discovers hidden knowledge and energies or, as some have come to call it, simply information. It has been called the Etheric Realm, Akashic Record, the Astral Plane, etc. Although visualization is essential for accessing and utilizing this, it is not imaginary, rather imaginal. Through visualization, meditation, and active access through liminal states, they move their work from the imaginal realm into consensus reality. Accessing this information is how the initiated can learn about the entities present and their communication. This is how healers can facilitate healing from a distance and determine how they want to initiate the healing process.

Healers may have varying perspectives on how they facilitate healing. Some may envision waves that can alleviate injuries or illnesses, while others may imagine creating small Tulpa (temporary functional thought forms) of construction workers that rebuild damaged tissue or tiny beings in hazmat suits eradicating sickness. Accessing the imaginal realm is entering a state of mind that is attuned to a field that enables the manipulation of whatever determines actions and events in consensus reality.

It is my opinion that the same field is utilized for astral projection, remote viewing, and lucid dreams. It can be used to impress intentions and awareness onto others, as well as to instill knowledge in the initiated and others. An interesting experiment is to attempt to connect with animals, other people (with their permission), and even the weather around you. Through the experience of shamanic sickness, it becomes easier for individuals to achieve this ability and access. Two other ways the imaginal realm is considered are as a yet-to-be-verified quantum field and the access to the use and manipulation of information, rather than energy.

Why this should have been mentioned in the beginning, is that the greater access to the imaginal realm doesn’t just provide the ability to create tulpas and access communication. Because of how fluid it is in response to a person’s visualization, needs, wants, and fears, it can create active and productive thought forms that are harmful or that guide connection, attention, and perception wrong. One might give more power to an entity by assuming it has more power. One might fear healing a person and cause damage instead. Being able to create tulpas from thought also opens the person to connect with something entirely manifested by the shaman that didn’t exist prior.

Nurse Rita and Tulpamancy

Speaking of Tulpas, which are entities created through the amalgamation of intention, need, and emotion, and which interact from the imaginal realm into consensus reality, I must mention Nurse Rita. By what is generally classified or identified as tulpamancy currently, shamans develop the skill of bringing their intentions and thoughts to animated life. I am not promoting this, as there are several factors that should be known and require further research. I am sharing this as an example of my ability. Just like all other abilities, this is one that everyone can develop into a skill. It is included as the set of skills and abilities that together comprise the shaman’s tools.

Nurse Rita is a Tulpa manifested from intention, who has received more attention from others than any other ability or manifestation I have experimented with and validated through the experiences of other people. When I first realized that I had been granted the ability to heal, like any new initiate, I wanted to heal anyone and everyone. When I was trying to alleviate cancer symptoms in someone, I found it safer to use a tulpa than to explore other more complex approaches to healing.

Working to alleviate cancer symptoms would be challenging enough for an experienced healer, let alone a novice. When I did so, it generated the perception of a million swarming, little, buzzing spheres — almost identical to a swarm of angry bees or hornets. I am unsure if this is because of subconsciously remembering what was said about cancer and/or from watching “The Green Mile,” in which a similar event was portrayed. Regardless, I was unprepared, and those perceptions assaulted me with intense heat and sharp pinpricks of pain. They swarmed around my body and entered my nostrils and mouth, and I couldn’t control the sensation. There is a consensus that this did help the person I was working with, but it came at a cost to me.

Determined not to let this happen again, and drawing on my previous experiences with tulpamancy, I embarked on a journey to create a manifestation that could provide healing instead of putting myself in a vulnerable position once more. The result was Nurse Rita, a short African-American nurse from the 1920s or 30s, with a tenacious confidence and a can-do attitude. I do not know what caused her to appear as she did in my subconscious or some other force that decided this image would be most suitable for the purpose it was intended to serve.

When providing certain healing or alleviating symptoms of contagious illnesses, I access the imaginal realm through meditation. I visualize myself talking to Nurse Rita about the issue and requesting her assistance. Many times, the visualization leads to the tulpa moving to a medication cart and preparing a shot or conducting research through old books. She may also use an old Commodore 64 computer to find information relevant to the healing or addressing of a particular issue. After this, she is visualized as walking up to the person to be healed and administering a shot to rectify whatever ailment the person has. Alternatively, while in the meditative state, I receive information about the person’s health issue, which I then share with them.

Now, this is not a substitute for medical advice or care. It is done only after informing the person of what I will attempt and how it will be done. Most importantly, I only do it after informing the person that this process should not be used as medical advice or care. It is simply something to try in addition to medical treatment.

Nurse Rita has garnered significant attention from the individuals who have kindly allowed me to conduct experiments on them. The reason for this attention is that every time she administers a shot, the person experiences a sensation and perception of pain in the arm surrounding the injection site of the simulated shot in the form of an ache much like the sensation left after being administered a real shot. When she shared information about ailments, most of the information was spot on and confirmed after the fact, with no front loading.

This is one way that healing can be facilitated, but not the only way a shaman can. There are a lot of discussions around tulpamancy that one should really look at before considering using it. Of course, like all other abilities available to the shaman, tulpamancy can be used for purposes beyond healing. It underscores that a tool is neither inherently good nor bad. It is the user who determines how it is used to that effect.

The Reading of Signs and Gaia Speaks

Two primary abilities in this category enable the shaman to understand covert or occulted signs around them. To carry out their work, they must first understand what that work entails. There are several ways in which this can occur, but we will focus on the two most common methods.

The Reading of Signs

There are signs with which the shaman has become familiar and conditioned to know their meanings. Do you remember the concept of audio perceptual integration and how beeps and tones can eventually signify danger, spirit, and imbalance, to the initiate? Through the development of perceptual integrations, the individual has learned to be aware of various things that they now perceive, which have been defined and given value through the influence of spirits and ancestors. We can now see that the harassments were not only meant to develop abilities but also to sharpen the shaman’s awareness and to condition some responses.

Any of the shaman’s perceptions can be used in this manner. Through the many challenges and hardships that the shaman has faced, they have developed a heightened sense of awareness towards both safety and danger. They possess the unique ability to detect imbalances and energetic disturbances, often sniffing out what they are to focus on (sometimes literally). They have built up a knowledge base within themselves that will continue to grow as they pursue new interests and further hone their skills.

Gaia Speaks

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the fascinating and mind-bending phenomenon that can occur during high initiations such as Kundalini Awakening and shamanic sickness. I call it Gaia Speaks, for lack of a better name to describe its nature and presentation.

During the early stages of shamanic sickness, initiates may begin to experience a phenomenon that is similar to, but opposite of, clairvoyance. When a question arises an initiate is answered through a variety of sources, including observations of natural phenomena, conversations with friends and family, and other relevant discussions, and repetitive and unique signs. This can happen with both common and obscure questions. How answers are arrived at is not limited to nature and people. Responses can arise from various sources, including radio announcers and songs, YouTube videos, internet commercials and ads, and even entire podcast episodes. When the answers come, the initiate doesn’t need to search for them. It just manifests. The answer appears without them having to request it.

The intensity of this phenomenon may decrease over time, and those who experience it may need to adopt a more reflective approach or be prepared to wait for a response. However, this is not always the case. When it comes to addressing something, the responses or messages may come more quickly or with greater difficulty depending on the importance of the question or its relevance. When the initiate attempts to ignore their duty or doesn’t fully understand it, they tend to be bombarded with these signs and messages. This is why I call it, Gaia Speaks, the initiate and the initiated are spoken directly to by an unseen force or forces that use nature and reality to communicate.

Spirit Contact

During the final stage of the shamanic sickness cycle, the initiated continues to experience the presence of one or more unseen entities. Spiritual entities can typically be accessed through various means, including meditation, prayer, or ritual. Alternatively, they may simply make their presence known. There are various types of entities that engage in this activity. They run the gambit of apparitions, to night visiting greys.

Ancestors and Spirit Guides

These entities can include the spirits of the deceased, spirit guides, angels, nature elementals, or extraterrestrials commonly referred to as aliens. Most of these experiences will come to those who are initiated through dreams and prayer. Ancestors’ spirits may appear during moments of full wakefulness. Aliens may appear at night or as Unidentified Flying Objects/Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UFO/UAP) sightings. Whichever it is, the contact becomes regular and uses the same signs and or integrations to maintain communication.

There is no specific group or species that plays a particular role singularly. Providing loose and vague descriptions of groups, species, and types of beings is the most beneficial to many, rather than compartmentalizing them into strict categories in some writings. Different groups may refer to what I consider an elemental as an angel, and vice versa.

Familiars, Apports, and Natural Phenomena

Many people, even those who have not undergone a formal initiation process, will be familiar with this category. Often, when individuals need to pay attention, they may receive a sign or message from a particular animal, natural event, or other natural phenomenon that draws their attention to it. This can be crows and ravens, certain breeds of dogs or cats, specific types of birds, deer, and similar creatures. It can also involve the offering of objects such as coins, drops of fragrance, or other small items.

When these specific animals and objects appear, they prompt the initiated to concentrate on their thoughts. This is something that is typically conditioned during the stages of integration and spirit induction.

Daemons

Not Demons. That should be clear. Daemons are typically unseen entities that remain with the initiated either permanently or for long periods of time. They may have been assigned to the initiated or chosen to remain with them. This type of contact isn’t discussed frequently, for obvious reasons.

Daemons possess the ability to create the perception that they are physical beings, capable of telepathic communication, and possessing unique personalities. This means they can exhibit kindness, helpfulness, obnoxiousness, or annoyance, and perhaps even all four at different times. I can only assume that these entities have attached themselves to the individual for their own reasons, but they seem to be more helpful than harmful.

It is important to understand that these entities or beings are not the demons of Christianity, although they may be classified as jinn. These beings have the ability to project their appearance, emotions, and desires, and can also become completely silent and unobtrusive. But they are always around.

It may take some time for individuals to recognize these entities as helpful rather than negative, low-vibrational attachments. Initially, those who are initiated may try to rid themselves of Daemons, but this only reinforces the belief that these entities are negative attachments. Daemons have the ability to manipulate perceptions to the extent that a person may feel as though they are being scratched, poked, or even burned. Due to possessing their own minds and personalities, they have the ability and freedom to “fight back.” They can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to eliminate. Fortunately, their primary objective is to live harmoniously with the initiated and provide more help than a hindrance.

Daemons assist the initiated by blocking other entities from harming them, prompting and identifying key information, and guiding them towards further spiritual study. They generally help the initiated stay on the right path. I cannot recommend giving attention to these entities, as I do not have sufficient knowledge about them, their true intentions, or whether their intentions are the same for all of them.

The Alien Overlords

Okay, I apologize. That was meant as a joke and may have been inappropriate. Throughout this paper, there are references to aliens, UFOs, and UAPs. It is hoped that by now the reader understands that there is no definitive way to categorize entities and beings. What one person may refer to as an alien, another may perceive as an angel. Some may refer to a supernatural being as jinn or faery, while others may label it as an extraterrestrial being. This applies to both the clearly organic and seemingly mechanical objects that are observed in the sky. Whether it is the Intelligent Plasma Spheres (IPSs), the Sky Snakes, the Hovering Humanoids, the Light Beings, or the perceived triangular and round aerial crafts that are often seen.

When identifying these things, we often confine ourselves to modern and contemporary perspectives, disregarding historical and cultural narratives beyond our education and assumptions. If one delves slightly deeper than usual, they can uncover a more profound and intricate history of these entities. We must comprehend that numerous indigenous rituals and most creation myths in tribal cultures revolve around the participation of entities other than humans and that they have always suggested other-than-human entities interacting with the tribe and shaman.

Looking at some indigenous legends, one tells the story of two brothers who navigated their egg-shaped vessel (the moon) into position to correct the natural disorder of a planet lacking such a satellite. The traditional story continues to share how these two brothers assisted the tribes in learning many aspects needed for a society to live in harmony with all of nature. This included learning how to build shelters and where they should be located, understanding societal guidelines and laws, practicing agriculture, identifying seasonal changes by monitoring the stars, utilizing plants for medicinal purposes, and much more.

Another tribe sings and dances to celebrate their ancestral history, which dates back to the time of the great flood. In this story, the Ant People (described as similar to the aliens known as Greys) emerged from within the earth to warn the tribes and shelter them during the prolonged period of Chaos on the surface. While staying with the Ant People, the members of the tribe were taught many things, similar to what the two brothers had taught the previous tribe. Another tribe recalls the creation of several versions of humanity before settling on us, the most recent inhabitants of the earth. They also taught us about the other worlds where they reside.

Here, we must mention and examine the books of the Bible, as well as the art from various ages that depicts their stories. In the Bible, readers can discover descriptions of supernatural beings such as Ezekiel’s Wheel and Isaiah’s vision of the Seraphim, which are described as shining like jade with eyes of fire (paraphrasing). Chris Bledsoe claims that these descriptions resemble the angelic beings he interacted with, and their existence has caught the attention of various government agencies, scientists, and academics. You can listen to his story as he recounts his experience on New Thinking Allowed with Jeffrey Mishlove, which is cohosted by Emmy Vadnais.

Descriptions of entities beyond human beings are found in the accounts of Abrahamic religions, including uncanonized books such as the Books of Enoch, the Book of Beginnings, and others. These texts describe giants, watchers, dragons, and angels using language from their time, but the descriptions go beyond what we can imagine these beings to look like. Artists have also depicted these entities in paintings, often referencing angels and the angelic through the artistic depiction of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAPs) or UFOs. This leads to a FaceBook page, unrelated to, I of ALICE.

To comprehend the importance of this, readers may want to spend time reviewing the relevant information from the past several years in regard to aliens, UFOs/UAPs, and interdimensional beings. When the reader can acknowledge that many government officials, scientists, and academics are now testifying to the reality and active presence of this realm. We need to consider the similarities of phenomena today versus our historic accounts. Regardless of the name given to them, whether it be Star Brothers, Ant People, or the visitors mentioned by the Dogon tribe who are said to have inhabited the oceans, they are all believed to be the same beings as the extraterrestrial life forms we encounter today. Why do cave drawings often depict triangular and circular shapes as representations of sky deities? How can we explain the cave sketches of diamond-shaped crafts, flying humanoids, and snake-like sky beings that appear to float across canyons?

When we consider the latest news about UAP/UFOs, along with the testimonies of many individuals of high standing about their interactions with other-than-human entities, and the shared oral history and continued interactions with the Star People of the Zuni Tribes, as revealed by Clifford Mahooty (March 18, 1944 — June 18, 2022), it becomes clear that we have a potentially explosive situation on our hands, just waiting for a spark to ignite it. What will ignite our curiosity and unlock the mysterious, symbolic gateway to these extraterrestrial entities?

For those who are initiated, it is almost guaranteed and promised that they will interact with these beings, if not regularly, then enough to confirm their existence and the fact that they provide assistance and interference. What and who are they? I can’t say, or I could if I chose to be wrong on paper. It is impossible to confirm or determine this, as our final category also involves relevant and consistent communication with spirits.

The Tricksters

I will try to avoid making too much out of this group. I consider this category to be any spiritual contact that persists in testing and challenging the initiated, whether for the purpose of growth or simply to be an asshole. Please excuse my unprofessional language slip. When a spirit acts as a trickster there is a possibility for lies, misguidance, and embarrassment. Not to mention fear, being put in your place, and if you are lucky, a chance to get them back.

The Cycle of Shamanic Illness

Shamanic sickness follows a cyclical pattern. As the individual becomes more comfortable with reality and life. Throughout their journey, shamans are repeatedly challenged in various ways, sometimes facing the same challenges until they achieve mastery over a particular aspect of shamanic life. Throughout the life of a shaman, it is said that they must die and be reborn many times. This is to ensure ego death, so individuals do not become too forgetful of the realms and entities that maintain balance. To be complacent is not allowed for the shaman. It is the cursed part, the challenge. The contemporary shaman faces a final tribulation — the burden of knowledge and experience gained through great discoveries, as well as the responsibility to assist people and lands while having no other shaman to commune with. This burden can also manifest as a sickness.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this experiential paper, which is based on my research and the reports of others who share similar experiences. The topics are common enough for everyone without becoming too specific about individual nuances.

Finally, the five installments are posted. Next month, we will examine the conclusions and takeaways of the shamanic process. We will also outline the challenges and significant differences of undergoing this process in modern societies where access to other shamans and accepting tribal communities may be limited.

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I of ALICE

Integrating the transformative effects of anomalous experiences of high-strangeness in everyday living.