Be Interested not just be interesting

The book written by Dale Carnegie titled as “How To Win Friends And Influence People” addresses the importance of making friends. To make new friends is very healthy habit and Dale Carnegie put emphasis by stating it as follows;

“ If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way”

So, it is very important for us to get interested in others if we want good friends. Merely, impressing others is not enough and sometimes it gives opposite image of our personality. The lesson which I learned from the chapter of this book was that we should try to make more friends. To make more friends we should use all the means to get know about the person, we should take interest into his/her interests. We should concentrate more on others than on just describing ourselves. Use the word “I” as less as possible.

To check the validity of the above quoted lines from the Dale Carnegie’s book, I conducted the interviews of my friends, family and my teachers. I started with simple questions such as how are you? What are you doing in these days? etc. etc. I kept on asking more questions. From my questions, I generated more questions which helped me a lot to know about others. I learnt that when I was asking questions from others I was showing my interest in their lives but when they answered me they were also automatically engaging with me. This was really very exciting challenge, sometimes I felt shy but however, I managed to control it. I just kept on asking, it was little bit funny too because I usually do not do so, so everyone was asking me if I was fine and OK (Hahahah).

I believe this is very good approach to make new friends and create healthy relationships. The more you make friends, the more your network grows, the more life lessons you will learn. Friends are very important for life they make your hard times easy, they stand through thick and thin, so give you energy to cope with situations. They are the real strength, but to make new friends we need to get out of just focusing on “I”. Because there are many things which are lacking in “I” but everyone have opportunity to learn more from peer and make “I” better. Because if there are no friends to appreciate achievement “I” would be alone. If no friends to give shoulder to cry on “I” would be alone. And man is social animal, without having positive and healthy relations with others, man can fail in life.

Biologically making friends is also very good for health. When you are in interaction with friends, your body generates “Happy Hormones” which keeps your body healthy and away from disappointment and depressions. When we chit chat with friends the level of oxytocin hormone increases in our body, oxytocin is a hormone which performs multiple functions in the body but it is also involved in the psychological effects such as influencing our social behavior. Carol Rinkleib Ellison, a clinical Psychologist at University of California says,

“It’s like a hormone of attachment, it creates feelings of calm and closeness.”

Serotonin is another happy hormone, to naturally increase its level interaction with friends is very helpful as it would boost the production of serotonin level in your body, depletion of its levels could leads to aggression and depression.

So interaction with others is not only important to grow network but also a source of happiness. Therefore, make new friends, do not be just interesting but be interested in others. And in making new friends never forget the technique of getting interested.