Are you dealing with a jealous friend?

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Have you ever had a decent friend you thought you were close to, but as you tried to focus on success, they started to drift away from you? Have you ever had a friend, and you felt that they were your friend only because of the man you were dating? Have you ever had a decent friend who would vent their problems to you, and if you didn’t take their side, they turned you into a middle person and the enemy?

These are the consequences of a good heart.

When their life is positive, they ignore you, belittle you, and put you down as if you’re not enough for them. When their life is negative, they run to you like their only friend but blame you for all your problems until they return to being clouded again. They secretly hate you and secretly admire you. They’re not friends. They’re fans. Fans can love you, and fans can hate you, but the irony is that everything they say about you is an illusion of who they believe you are so they can feel better about themselves. Friends know who you are and want to support you to succeed. It’s hypocrisy what these friends do in our world. We must learn these lessons in life if we want to get ahead. We can’t live our life pleasing the crowd because the crowd will keep us at the stop sign. We’ve got to learn to drive on our own to see the whole country.

Some lessons you end up learning are:

#1. Don’t believe people who claim to care just because of who they’re in life. They only watch if you play their game. The second you don’t. They make you up to save face with themselves.

# 2. Never stop at the surface. Learn to read beyond it. Those who read the cover end up playing the fool. Anybody can do the right things on the outside. Very few can mean them in their heart.

#3. Never hurt somebody back just because they hurt you. It’s not about winning in life. It’s about winning with GOD! We all have to answer to GOD in the end.

So many people in the world are chasing money. So many people are chasing popularity and may be hoping to become famous. I never thought about wanting fame. I never even liked being in the spotlight. I don’t care to have that type of power over people. I think many people trade who they’re on the inside to seek validation from others. Why isn’t anybody ever taught the dream of just being happy? I want to be satisfied with who I was on the inside at the end of my life.

Sometimes it can lead you to bad circles in friendships, and your best friend can often become your number one enemy.

Ever watched: “Pretty Woman?” The man met the hooker on the street thinking he was trusting his co-worker, and then his co-worker betrayed him when he fell in love with the hooker with who he empathized. Julia Roberts did terrific in that role. There are many times in life when you have to learn to trust God more than your spouse. The world is full of people with so many facades. It’s filled with disloyalty, dishonesty, and betrayal. So many people are out for themselves. I have never seen marriage as some fairy-tale ending like many I know. I saw it as just settling to impress your friends. I think it’s nice to have pictures saying:
“Oh, look at me, I got married young….look back at those brighter days!!!”

I also feel that marriage is highly sacred and not something you settle in just for others to praise you. I would rather not spend 70 years with someone I know I’ll get bored of in 8 years. That makes me a courageous person because I choose to walk away from love. I think it intimidates people when they realize our perspectives on life are different. I have friends who have become enemies myself. They would instead treat me like a competition than a human being. It’s unfortunate.

Every last one of us is people, each given a different set of strengths and weaknesses in this life. I don’t understand why sometimes we can’t just all be on the same team and balance our talents out with each other so that we can both find success. I didn’t learn to be independent overnight; I spent many years in co-dependence.

I knew it through overcoming adversity. I think many people get things the easy way, and then when you fight for things the hard way. They expect you to allow them to control you, to manipulate you, and then you become passionate and outspoken, and you tell them:

“This is my dream!!”

They get mad when you don’t share their dreams with them. They get mad when you start going on a different path than they are on. The nay-saying begins, and the gossip starts. Even your best friend will turn you into a cartoon character. The goals you chase, they’re afraid to pursue. No matter how hard you continue to fight for your dreams. It will be the people you have the most respect for who do the most for you. They call these the: “Devils Distractions.”

It’s when the devil knows you’re about to make it and makes you feel insecure with fear that you can’t make it. I think deep down, no matter how successful a person is. Deep down, there was that fear. We’re all afraid, but we will miss our blessings if we stay so scared of change. Part of finding success is learning to adapt to change. Stop arguing with the past, and start fighting for your future. Stop hating others, and start asking GOD the reason for this test.

Once you do, you will see — it wasn’t fear — it was GOD TESTING.

Every obstacle you go through is GOD preparing you for a greater purpose.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10 –



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Irene Mielke

Irene Mielke

I write about family, parenting, love, relationships, pop culture, religion, spirituality, and legal stuff. I am currently a Law student!