Health and Fitness Q’s Posed by Sad Girl

Hello. I am Sad Girl. My eyes are made of tears and I hate your music. Cool. I have some questions about health and fitness. I would ask my mom but she doesn’t know shit. Please DM me with all answers.I also accept answers in the form of slam poetry. This is actually preferred. Tysm.

  1. Is inner turmoil a carb?

2. Does all of this emptiness inside of me make me look FAT?

3. Does being tragic burn calories?

4. If I eat nothing but my own tears for three weeks straight will I die, and do you recommend this: y/n???(!)

5. Will a juice cleanse silence the terrors at night? Be honest.

6. Soul cycle. What?

7. How many calories are in a public cry session?

8. Is sitting in my room and screaming gluten free?

9. What is kale and also why? Nvm, it doesn’t matter. Nothing does.

10. If I smile more will I melt? This might be a question better suited for Science Teacher.

11. How many squats do I have to do in order to tone the gaping black hole that has eaten my soul?

12. If I dig a hole to crawl into and wait for death in, does that count as cardio?

13. Are blood sugar and sugar the same thing? Idk, I like blood.

14. What eye creams will best accentuate the natural sadness under my eyes? Also, on a related note, is Greek yogurt a lie?

15. Are you even listening???

I am scared.

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