Things I Did Instead of Solving My Problems

Many problems have solutions, but I do not like solutions. Well, maybe it’s not the solutions I dislike, but rather the application of said solutions. That’s why when faced with my problems, I just did these things instead.

here me b4 n after panic attack

Thought about writing a poem.

Tried to come up with a new tinder descrip that says, “I’M funny, but I don’t want to hear YOUR jokes.”

Added seven items to my ASOS cart that I will buy when I lose 5 lbs.

Brainstormed answers to the Q ‘what’s up?’

Tweeted about my ex.

Google -imaged Rihanna.

Stared at my laptop screen and let the anxiety wash over me. Felt bad.

On a related note, felt bad.

Painted my nails before doing the dishes, which in hindsight was a plan that was not good.

Followed people in hopes of getting more followers.

Watched my own Snap story and wondered if I should delete it.

Plucked my unibrow even though I am a feminist.

Made a list.

Emails.

Considered going vegan.

Ate an entire tub of hummus and then felt not thin.

Made a promise to me to be thin forever.

Read the notes I leave in my phone when I’m drunk, and then texted them to the guy I’m fucking. He said, “haha.”

Missed a lot of people.

Thought about all of my problems and how they keep adding up and how I’m sitting here not fixing them and then continued to live this way.

Had seasonal allergies.

Remembered some things. Forgot them again.

Cried but was into it.

Downloaded a podcast.

Thought about how much I didn’t want to go to an open mic ever again.

Went to an open mic.

Went through all of my profile pics more than once and hoped others do the same.

Had some fun because hey, that’s okay.

Messaged people on Facebook and asked them questions about themselves so they would do the same to me.

Wished I had a good pic to post on Instagram.

Deleted Uber so I could download Tinder because I don’t have enough data on my phone for both.

Splurged on a kombucha.

Got paranoid that all of my friends hate me, but then remembered I get a lot of Facebook likes so figured I am okay.

Masterbated.

Loled :).

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