A Halloween Party Disguising As a Harvest Party

As a rule, we don’t do Halloween; it’s a religious thing. However, we love putting on costumes and we’re greedy for free candy, so even if it’s against our beliefs, we go trick-or-treating. We also love to decorate for the holidays, and it would just be remiss to miss out on one, so we have a lot of Halloween theme stuff on display as well. But, yeah, we don’t do Halloween.

Trick-or-treat and decorating notwithstanding, far be it from us to throw a Halloween party. I mean, that would just be too much, so no Halloween party for us. Right. Then again, we like a good party, especially a costume one, so we’ve decided to throw one on the 31st of October. It’s just a coincidence; the date falls on a Saturday this year, so it’s just the most convenient day to have our party. But it’s definitely not a Halloween party. No way. If you want to know, we’re calling it a harvest party. Yeah, that would explain the gourds.

That’s not a jack o’lantern either. You know, that pumpkin is part of the harvest, and to make it more festive, we carved it to show a smiley. That’s it. It’s a smiley pumpkin. And you see that sinister owl with eyes that glow red? It’s not sinister at all; you’re just being judgmental. It’s just a cute black owl with pink eye. It’s really so horribly misunderstood.

I’m obviously not fooling anybody, so I’ll cut the crap. Yes, we’re having a Halloween party even if we’re not supposed to. It’s consistent with other holiday wrongdoings we perpetuate such as taking our kids to have their picture taken with Santa (and, no, they don’t believe he’s real) and giving them goody baskets from the Easter Bunny (ditto).

So we’re having a harvest party and it’s going to be a blast if I’d just stop feeling guilty about it. In any case, because we’re dorks, we have rules for attending this party. First, you have to be in costume. Second, you have to contribute to the potluck. To ensure admission to this most happening event, you have to look silly and bear food. Lack one or the other, and you’ll have to party outside the rented marquee. I’m just kidding. Contribution to the potluck (or potbless, according to some people at our church) is not a must. The costume is, though.

Like I said, we don’t do Halloween, but we’re really looking forward to it.

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