How I Love/Hate Music

I love music. Everybody does, right? We may differ in our taste, but you have to be something of a… How shall I put it without sounding judgmental? There’s no way, so I’ll just say it. You have to be some kind of freak not to enjoy any kind of music at all. To each his own and all that, but really? You don’t like music? That’s rather unfathomable for me.

I personally have a rather eclectic taste, and as I get older, the variety I enjoy just broadens. In my youth, I wouldn’t have enjoyed opera at all, but now I really like it. I’ve also become much more tolerant of pop music, which I’d determinedly abhorred in my teens in my carefully studied alternativeness.

These days, my choice mainly depends on my mood. Mornings, I like to listen to old hymns. Evenings, I prefer French café music. Throughout the day, my playlist could switch from classical to Celtic, from Led Zeppelin to Ariana Grande, from grunge to Burt Bacharach, etc. Mostly, I have to listen to what my kids want to listen to, which is Mother Goose Club.

We’ve established that I love music. Now, let’s build on the fact that music also annoys me. I don’t mean that there are songs or tunes that grate on my nerves, although there is that too. I mean that I dislike the concept of music on principle.

There’s something you should know about me. I’m not charismatic. At all. Unfortunately, I’m also highly suspicious of people who are. When I meet somebody who is, I can’t help but be charmed, of course. That’s like their power, I suppose, and it just catches you unawares. When I come to my senses though and it finally registers that I’d fallen under the spell of their charisma, I get the heebie-jeebies.

I don’t know. It could be envy. I mean, these people, they get away with so much just because they’re so likeable. What’s got music to do with it? Music people are usually charismatic. That’s why they command the stage so well.

If we have to go there, okay, I admit, this is a church thing. When I was a kid, all the popular people in church were in the worship team. Some of them behaved like superstars and the ordinary members looked up to them. But, of course, they always proved themselves to be flawed, so they were always disappointing. For a grouchy, unforgiving 10-year-old, they’re forever ruined, but, of course, the others were always ready to give them a chance to redeem themselves. So annoying.

I cultivated this aversion to music and its people around that time. I mean, hello! Lucifer was a charismatic choir director before he fell. And David. Man! I can’t even. He was such a star! And then he went ahead and sent Uriah to his death so he could steal Bathsheba. That’s so messed up. I would have totally joined Absalom in his mutiny against his father.

That’s why I hate those music people.

Except that I don’t. Not really.

I’ve had some really awesome, yet not at all charismatic music teachers. They were the quiet, unassuming kind who didn’t crave attention. And then I also married a musician because I kind of made that a criterion. Yeah, I told myself, “The person you have to marry has to be a musician.”

So, that’s how I feel about music. I’m consistent and democratic though. I flip-flop on my feelings and regard on a whole bunch of topics. What can I say? I’m a confused sort of gal.