In Search Of Our New Home — United And Yet, Not Really

My husband and I were in the market for a new family home for about a year. We went at it tirelessly until our pretty recent decision to simply build. We initially thought we didn’t want the hassle of starting from scratch, and then we fell in love with one particular community. The neighborhood unfortunately had for sale exactly one house that was beyond our budget, and the rest were all vacant lots. Hubby and I made a snap decision based on that infatuation and immediately called off the search. At the end of the day, we agreed that building would give us exactly the house that we wanted, instead of settling for something simply okay, which we had been on the verge of doing before we found the neighborhood.

In any case, despite our months of search, we hadn’t really zeroed in on a house that truly grabbed us. We were near our self-imposed deadline, however, and thought our best bet was a townhouse that, in my opinion, lacked natural light, and, in my husband’s opinion, had too small rooms. That was always the case with us. We tended to gravitate to or dismiss the same houses, which would have you believe that we were very united in our quest; only, we seldom had the same reasons for liking or disliking a house. Definitely, we’d fleshed out what our requirements were, but when it came to the other details, we seemed to care about different things.

I tended to be more fancifully practical (an oxymoron, I know). For instance, I’d look at a prospect and imagined how I’d decorate it for Christmas. If I couldn’t find a nook for our Christmas tree, that’s a huge minus for me. I also tended to start arranging our furniture and imagined myself cooking while minding the baby, homeschooling while doing chores, etc. I looked at the staircase and wondered how my three-year-old son would choose to hurt himself on it. I looked at the window and then out the window at the view, and thought, is it good for a window seat? Will my daughter enjoy looking out that window when it’s raining and she’s cooped up indoors?

Meanwhile, my husband thought of the distance to various conveniences, how secure the property was, how much repair or added work was necessary, what the quality of the roads was going to that area, whether the price of the house coincided with the information he’d read from the REIWA website, etc. I cared about those things, too, but I left it up to him to nitpick about those details.

So, instead, we’re building. I’m not sure how in synch we would still be in choosing a design for the house. Will he veto the charm I’ll want to cultivate, and will I object to the size of the garage he has in mind, car fiend that he is? I’m sure we’d somehow be able to come to some sort of compromise, however, because even though we don’t quite agree in the things we prioritize, we’re still united in our cause.

This post is sponsored by REIWA.