8:03pm November 23, 2015

Erase the memories. Erase the happiness that it entailed. It was never meant to last long anyways.

I want so dearly to relive that night. To relive the happiness of finding out that I am not alone with my feelings, that there is hope in finding someone who actually enjoys my presence.

But here I am, so desperately trying to erase it all. Why? Because I have a feeling that they do not feel the same anymore.

Why does this always happen to me. Why am I always left with this feeling of dread, disappointment and sadness? Is there any way to not feel these feelings next time?

Sure, you can block those feelings off. But remember, in order to truly feel the exhilaration and joy that comes, you must also open yourself up to the possibility of disappointment.

So.. don’t fall. This mentality perfectly aligns with what you planned out from the very beginning no? Don’t fall, don’t feel, and perhaps you’ll finally be free.