February 21, 2016 11:30pm
This weekend was exhausting. Volunteer events on both days, food wasn’t the greatest. I think the worst part was the few moments where I felt devoid of all emotion. Especially earlier today. Couldn’t really talk to anyone. The one or two who wanted to talk to me, well I’m sorry but I was not interested. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to make friends. But there are people I just do not want to be associated with. There’s a fine line between being friendly, and being sucked into a mentally exhausting conversation of something I have no interest in. Sure you want to make friends, but I also don’t want you to waste your time on me. I would rather you talk to someone who actually understands and wants to discuss what you want.
I’m kinda disappointed that I did not have more time to enjoy the weather this weekend though. It was sunny and not too hot. I hope that the next time I am free from any obligation, the weather can be nice again.
On a separate note, I feel kind of conflicted right now. When I first started attending community college, I was completely against the idea and craved for the day when I could leave. But now, when things are better (transferring soon, yay I guess) and I have started to get into the rhythm that I enjoy, it almost feels as if time is going against me, making me decide on a whim of what I want. I suppose things will work out in the end and I will look back and shake my head, saying how silly I was being. But you see, only the future can do that. In the present, there will always be a sense of uncertainty of what lies ahead. This uncertainty will continue until the day I die. I suppose I will have to be fine with it eventually.
Until next time, sayonara.