The Secrets to Leading a Calm and Peaceful Life
“Nothing befalls any man which he is not fitted to endure.”
-Marcus Aurelius
You’re stressed, you didn’t sleep well last night, you wonder “When will it end?’
Let’s switch perspectives.
If your friend is in a rut, would you support them? Of course, why wouldn’t you?
Now let’s switch that friend to–YOU
You are your own friend.
Here’s what I tell myself all the time and by the time you’ve read this I’m sure you’ve got a whole different perspective.
Woah…Woah Slow down buddy
Pull the breaks.
Let’s not be hasty here. You probably won’t realize this, but you’ve been living your whole life in fast-forward time. You’re too hasty about getting there fast, easy, and quick.
We’re so focused on the next thing convincing ourselves:
“When I get this thing then I’ll be happier.”
It’s a fallacy.
You’ve tied your happiness to a thing or event that will happen. If you get it, then will you be happy? Or the same.
That’s IF you get it.
Slow down and ask yourself this:
“What if NOW is the best time I have”.
Pulling the brakes will give you more clarity on what to do now and next.
The Dichotomy of Control
“The more you seek to control external events, the less control you will have over your own life.”
-Epictetus
What do you have control over?
- Your friends
- Your boss
- The road congestion
- The weather
- Whatever is happening in the world like war, politics, and crime.
Or is it your own self?
Nothing is worth more than yourself and your own thoughts. That’s the control we have, the ability to control ourselves and what is ours. Outside of that is just noise that is distracting.
The dichotomy of control also applies to business where there’s so much to care about. But only the essentials are worth doing.
Ask yourself this:
“What is in my sphere of control and what’s not something I need to care about that is wasting my time”.
“This too shall pass”
Think of all the things you’ve been through.
Each of us had different experiences, some are way better than others, and some are worse. But you’re still alive, aren’t you? Sure you are, you’re reading this.
At that time you are probably thinking the same thing as what you are going through right now.
But you survived that and now you’re still living and breathing. Sure that experience does change you.
Remember the future is not yours to stress about, it’s uncertain, go back to the dichotomy of control, you’ve done everything you could.
Let the future roll its scene.
Your Worst Hater Is: You
Sometimes our worst enemy is ourselves.
It’s another to contemplate what you’ve done and do better the next time, it’s another to hate yourself and be your own worst enemy.
Think of yourself as two persons living in one body. You don’t want to hurt the other person, would you?
Don’t think because it’s yours you can do anything to it.
Be your own friend first, take time to know yourself.
Thus the Greek maxim “Know Thyself”.
And there you have it, to be honest I am still on this journey of understanding myself.
It’s not easy, but it’s a challenge I’m willing to take.
Tell yourself these things often and you will become better at it. Like any skill, mental toughness takes time and practice.
If you’re going through anything now that’s good, why? Because now you’re in the middle of your practice.
Anyway, I wish you luck, and thank you for reading this.